I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Discuss Phish!

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby alright » Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:14 am

man...i am so sorry. i have no idea what to say other than i think its completely normal to still be bummed out 7 weeks later. its really NOT that long considering the extreme circumstances you are in. continue to try to be patient. peace
#23 So back off
User avatar
alright
Teh Taintless Wonder
 
Posts: 3889
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:54 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby marley » Sun Jul 15, 2007 5:22 am

Don't get down on yourself. You have to heal and that will take some time.
#29. "Phishamatics pwns Reganomics" - Pei Yi
"wait a minute... what are we doing?" - Bob Weir
User avatar
marley
West Side Wook
 
Posts: 3980
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:34 pm
Location: the Mojave in a Winnebago.
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby Joffrey » Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:56 pm

Romantic love can deal such a crushing blow. You have to try to stop these thoughts of "her joy never skipped a beat" and "shes so happy with another man" etc... those thoughts are just tear generators. Instead think that maybe its a blessing to be rid of her. Maybe the "happiness" you had was nothing more than an illusion, a magician's trick. Better to have this happen now than after years of marriage and kids etc. There are better people out there. Someone who would at least take responsibility for their actions. Give you an apology, an explanation. Don't waste your time grieving this woman. You have to toughen up a little.

In the meantime the loneliness you feel has nothing to do with her. That is your issue. You need to find a way to be happy without relying on someone else. Engage life, engage your mind, your body. No one person will ever be able to fill that void. No one can always be there. It could be the root cause of your meltdown here anyway. The fact you latched onto someone else so strongly for all your joy and happiness and now that she is gone you are left with nothing shows you need to find some inner contentment. Some joy that is not dependent on someone else. Something that comes from YOU. Then when you do find someone else you won't fall into the same trap and be quite so vulnerable.

Make sense WMkid?
User avatar
Joffrey
White Mountain Scallop
 
Posts: 5317
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:33 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby marley » Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:59 pm



In the meantime the loneliness you feel has nothing to do with her. That is your issue. You need to find a way to be happy without relying on someone else. Engage life, engage your mind, your body. No one person will ever be able to fill that void. No one can always be there. It could be the root cause of your meltdown here anyway. The fact you latched onto someone else so strongly for all your joy and happiness and now that she is gone you are left with nothing shows you need to find some inner contentment. Some joy that is not dependent on someone else. Something that comes from YOU. Then when you do find someone else you won't fall into the same trap and be quite so vulnerable.

Make sense WMkid?


I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.
Henry David Thoreau

Listen to General Zod. He has widsom.
#29. "Phishamatics pwns Reganomics" - Pei Yi
"wait a minute... what are we doing?" - Bob Weir
User avatar
marley
West Side Wook
 
Posts: 3980
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:34 pm
Location: the Mojave in a Winnebago.
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby charlieJack » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:17 pm

all i can say WMKid is that i hear you.

i've definately been through the trenches before (in fact, my personal situation was eerily similar to yours), and it sucks. bad. for quite a while. i know all these words on here might ring hollow to you right now, but i absolutely promise that it will get better. much, much better! "it just takes some time"; a cliche, but it's just the truth. you will find your own happiness again, and it really has very little to do with anyone else. you felt it with her because it's already inside of you. life has a funny way of trying over and over again to teach us this lesson. but once you realize the simple truth of it, you can never really doubt it again.

it's perfectly normal and resonable and expected to mourn the loss of a love. the pain of loss is simply part of the human condition, and unless we're sociopathic, every one of us will feel it at times in our lives. pain can be really beautiful though. you know what i mean? it can be transformative, full of wisdom and compassion. be compassionate to yourself, you're going through a lot right now. allow yourself whatever time it takes to assimilate it (it's not like you can do much else with it anyway). nothing is permanent, either for good or bad, and that includes the experience you're having now. the pendulum will swing the other way, and you WILL come out the other side of this a whole new person. you'll see things in a whole new light and life will feel very good again!

true cliche #276: just hang in there!
the floor will have its way it seems
it fights me like a trampoline
it won't let me to the ground
so this time i'm not coming down
User avatar
charlieJack

 
Posts: 4952
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:05 pm
Location: Mitten Country
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby charlieJack » Sun Jul 15, 2007 9:25 pm

p.s.

"Well its funny don't you know / That change is the one thing you can count on / Wondering where does it go / If I had more money I would buy some time." ~Trey Anastasio

the floor will have its way it seems
it fights me like a trampoline
it won't let me to the ground
so this time i'm not coming down
User avatar
charlieJack

 
Posts: 4952
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:05 pm
Location: Mitten Country
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby floydthechimpanzee » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:50 pm


I know all these words on here might ring hollow to you right now, but i absolutely promise that it will get better. much, much better!

I totally appreciate every thought that is being shared with me on this board, which is kinda why I keep writing on here.
You guys are great and ARE full of wisdom and experience.
I appreciate anything you can impart with me.

This is a real community vibe on this board and it is great that I can turn to this board to talk about something totally unrelated to Phish and not be run off for being Off Topic.

Thanks again guys.

floydthechimpanzee

 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:13 pm
Location: Bloomfield, NJ
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby willbreathes » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:58 pm

Damn this is off topic.

::locks thread::
1. tipsyfuddledboozygroggyelevatedprimedidedither ...
User avatar
willbreathes
Third Eye Warrior
 
Posts: 28524
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:44 pm
Location: Euclid, OH
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby neck » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:59 pm

this is no time for humo(u)r, will!
neck
Third Eye Warrior
 
Posts: 8309
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:21 pm
Location: 42
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby Joffrey » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:22 am


Those be some very wise and knowledgeable words there Zod...



but I'm sorry, you did not write the fucking book, so you can't have my mountain.



I WILL EAT YOUR TESTICLES ARRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!
Image
User avatar
Joffrey
White Mountain Scallop
 
Posts: 5317
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:33 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby KDF4LYPHE » Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:03 am

hmm.

What an odd thread.

good luck with everything Wal-Mart Kid.
I LOOK TO THE STARS AND THE ANSWER IS CLEAR
I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT I FEAR
User avatar
KDF4LYPHE
_________
 
Posts: 15104
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:00 pm
Location: Here and There
Blog: View Blog (1)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby Joffrey » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:25 pm

Zod would smite the white wizard into a sebaceous secretion. Probably.
User avatar
Joffrey
White Mountain Scallop
 
Posts: 5317
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:33 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby floydthechimpanzee » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:46 pm

Question for the group.

The basics:
Fiance cheat on me with another guy.
Never explains herself. Only claimed she was confused, but knew she didn't want to be with me anymore.
It is officially 7 weeks since all this went down.
About 3 weeks since the last time we spoke.

I woke up today very tempted to just call her and set up a meet-up and beg for her back.

I mean, part of me is telling me that nothing in life is easy and if you want something bad enough you have to fight for it.

The other part is telling me that if she wanted to come back, she would have done so already.

I don't mean to continue to harp on this subject for another week, but I love the diverse insight that I get on this board.

I promise I will soon stop bellowing about this.
floydthechimpanzee

 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:13 pm
Location: Bloomfield, NJ
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby bhuji2 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:59 pm




The basics:
Fiance cheat on me with another guy.
Never explains herself. Only claimed she was confused, but knew she didn't want to be with me anymore.
It is officially 7 weeks since all this went down.
About 3 weeks since the last time we spoke.



I would rather have a relationship that leads to contentment through communication than one thhat leads to pain through confusion.

My advice would be to let this go immediately. Clean break, move on. Decide to enjoy your life and acknowledge yourself as someone who deserves happiness and a fulfilling relationship, not this sort of ego-drama. Remaining attached and fighting and begging will lead to more of the same.
bhuji2

 

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby hosemasterflex » Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:18 pm

I agree w/these guys ... let go ASAP, man. Who wants a reluctant companion? Or one that's not even considerate?
User avatar
hosemasterflex
Sounds Delicious
 
Posts: 8275
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:27 pm
Location: RI
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby Joffrey » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:30 pm

^^yup.

^yup.

Dude you have to take your balls back. This is only one girl. Pete's sake did she have a magical pussy or somethin'? A perfect shimmering ass? I know what it is to fall under a woman's spell but there does come a time when you just have to see she's not worth it. You have to stop this nonsense. Just let it be. If she wants you again she'll let you know and hopefully you'll be long gone or with a new girl that is much better.

You will probably be back and forth for a while but just understand that she is not really where its at. Its in you. You know this. You're just confused, hurt and lonely right now. Somehow you'll make it to the next day and so on. You'll feel better eventually and regain your life. You'll regain your confidence and eventually this girl will be just a part of the past. Shit there are times I just see a beautiful woman on the street and can fall to pieces just for the fact that she is so beautiful and I desire her so much and I can't have her! I'll feel so depressed! Then slowly I come to my senses and realize my mistake and eventually feel better.

Always remember... "You can't control the ass." Ass will come and ass will go and we just need to enjoy it while its there. And if we get no ass then we must simply be pleased with our own ass. And it is good. Praise assman.

In the meantime distract yourself, go see a movie, start an exercise routine, etc.
User avatar
Joffrey
White Mountain Scallop
 
Posts: 5317
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:33 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby bigB » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:51 pm

goldphish and i seem to be on the same wavelength this week. Listen to his words!
As he saw his life run away from him 1000's ran along chanting words from a psalm.
User avatar
bigB
Wookie-Tamer
 
Posts: 7598
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 5:32 pm
Location: The molasses swamp
Blog: View Blog (1)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby hosemasterflex » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:04 pm

Peace comes from within.

...

And without too, as long as 'without' means 'without that lady'.
User avatar
hosemasterflex
Sounds Delicious
 
Posts: 8275
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:27 pm
Location: RI
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby charlieJack » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:09 pm

yeah i wouldn't do it (call her, that is).
because i've done it.
thinking back on it, verrrry embarassing.
resist the urge Kid.

you'll look back on all this and laugh some day. even be thankful because your life is gonna take you in new, better directions. you'll see that it's okay that this one didn't work out. trust the force luke...

edit:

dude it's so hard to be in your shoes right now. i realize it's very easy to spout advice. i think the advice is pretty sound, but it can come off sounding non-understanding and harsh. Zod may be an intergalactic criminal, but he is wise. but do what you gotta do man. we can give all the advice in the world, but in the end you gotta follow your own path.

goils, goils, goils...fuckin a.
Last edited by Anonymous on Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
the floor will have its way it seems
it fights me like a trampoline
it won't let me to the ground
so this time i'm not coming down
User avatar
charlieJack

 
Posts: 4952
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:05 pm
Location: Mitten Country
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby bhuji2 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:27 pm


your life is gonna take you in better, nude erections
bhuji2

 

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby jawbone » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:43 pm




I WILL EAT YOUR TESTICLES ARRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!
Image


Image


anyway, WalMartKid; i am in no position to give people advice on their love lives since i seem to fuck up everything. But i will say this...the best cure for when something in your personal life shatters is a good road trip. Take a long drive (or ride on a train or bus or something) by yourself, listen to some good music and/or read a powerful book, meet up with some of your favorite friends you don't see as much as you want to anymore if you can and basically just throw yourself into some adventure. Give yourself some other focus than going through the motions of your routine sans your girlfriend. Go out and do something new, and remember that it is not a vacation from your life but rather, it is part of your life just as much as your job or your home or girl or whatever.

Remember that this is just me talking and it might not work for everybody. It certainly works for me though so i figured i'd throw it out there.
[#42?] nothin' shakin' but the leaves on the trees
User avatar
jawbone
Skunk Ape Expatriate
 
Posts: 11404
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2005 10:22 pm
Location: FLA
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby ghost_2000 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:52 pm

Just drink an entire bottle of whiskey and go visit a whorehouse.

That'll cure what ails ya.

#8
My room is round when I lay down, when I wake up it's square.
User avatar
ghost_2000
The Apparition
 
Posts: 21495
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2005 4:00 am
Location: Crawfordsville, IN
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby buckriddix » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:01 pm

Walmart Kid, just read this whole thread and what a range of emotions you must've been though, from pure bliss to utter depression. That's the way life is, man, no lie, it's the yin and the yang. that moment at the Trey show, however, wasn't made by the girl, it would've been equally as special if you were alone or with a buddy. Your love for Phish and Trey made that moment better than anything else you've experienced. The emotional attachment that must've come out of that encounter definitely brought you and her closer. I can't relate because i've never been with a girl whose been willing to surrender to the flow and let Phish into her life. I thought it was a bad thing for the longest time but i've realized some things in the past few months .First off, you are the only person you can't count on 24/7...I feel like asking someone who's their best friend is pointless, because we all should be our best friends. if you can't love yourself and have to rely on other people then you'll never truly be happy, you'll only find short term accommodations for your needs. We all want to be with somebody who is perfect and makes us feel special but Trey said it best "sometimes people build you up so that they can knock you down". I've been through my fair share of depressing times but have gotten through it each time, with the help of friends and family each time. You have to look at yourself and ask what you truly want out of yourself and life. If it's to be with someone who will make you happy all the time i think you're heading in the wrong direction. In the last couple years i've learned not to expect the sky as the limit because almost certainly you're gonna be dissapointed. I am jealous that you got to meet Trey and joke about burgers, but doesn't it seem like that was almost the apex of your Phish career, 10 years culminating in one night? Inevitably your not going to have a persistent string of events like that ever again, so the only way to go is down, unfortunately. Bottom line is you have to accept you for who you are and be reasonable about things down the road. It's easy to say "why me?" but you have to persevere and understand that you'll only find true happiness within yourself. It just takes a while to accept being that guy with the shit eating grin on your face listening to your favorite YEM with headphones on.
buckriddix

 
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:35 am
Location: Beantown
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby buckriddix » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:05 pm

I also agree with the road trip idea, it's one of the best ways to clear your head. plan on visiting some friends and don't let yourself have a specific agenda, just let things happen and don't force anything.
buckriddix

 
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:35 am
Location: Beantown
Blog: View Blog (0)

I met Trey AGAIN tonight...

Postby Joffrey » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:24 am


Just drink an entire bottle of whiskey and go visit a whorehouse.

That'll cure what ails ya.



HAHA, Neil... 8-)

Holy crap there is a young philly at the gym that could bring a whole army of muscovites to their knees, I'm not shitting. It can be hard to be around such extreme beauty. She is probably 17 or 18... she'll never be sweeter. Shes as good as they come. Course this says nothing of what kind of person she is but WHOA.

She looks like this!:














Image

User avatar
Joffrey
White Mountain Scallop
 
Posts: 5317
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:33 am
Blog: View Blog (2)

PreviousNext

Return to General Phish Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: rastabilly and 1 guest