OKP Therapy Thread

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OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:46 pm

Pull up a chair or sit/lay on the couch, here in the OKP Therapy Thread!!

Image

Here is a place where we can all share our marital, family, children and personal feelings.

We can look for thoughts, help or just friends to advise or listen.

Here we can even share antidotes or ideas that might help one another get through or cope with personal trauma in our everyday lives!



If we need it locked, well then I guess we do, but ultimately if we are sharing our thoughts/concerns/emotions within the 'Morning' thread, that can be left up to those who want it locked.
"Art isn’t about perfection. It is what is created when trying to reach perfection that matters!"
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby goldenroad » Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:12 pm

Haha. My joke was seen through to fruition. I love it.

Now, tell me about your mother.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby El Bastarde » Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:00 am

I'm good today.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Thu Nov 14, 2013 3:47 pm

Overall, things are OK... I need some live music, sex and some fun... Not all in that actual order neither...


Carry on.... :shh:
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby Joffrey » Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:20 pm

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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:01 pm

^Correct...
"Art isn’t about perfection. It is what is created when trying to reach perfection that matters!"
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby hosemasterflex » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:12 pm

I'm not real good, but I've kind of exhausted all tantrums and fits. All that's left is to face reality! :|

This is gonna take some getting used to. In the Good Morning thread, you just kinda shove in a bit o' bitching, amidst the greater and better theme of "good morning", so that it goes a little more under the radar. Here, it's like admitting I'm f*cked up, lol.

I stopped going to talk to a guy once, after I realized I was just ranting for an hour at a time, like I do at everyone else.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby piper » Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:52 pm

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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:28 pm

hosemasterflex wrote:I'm not real good, but I've kind of exhausted all tantrums and fits. All that's left is to face reality! :|

This is gonna take some getting used to. In the Good Morning thread, you just kinda shove in a bit o' bitching, amidst the greater and better theme of "good morning", so that it goes a little more under the radar. Here, it's like admitting I'm f*cked up, lol.

I stopped going to talk to a guy once, after I realized I was just ranting for an hour at a time, like I do at everyone else.


Keep that head up and remember, there is always tomorrow!
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby Joffrey » Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:54 am

A competent therapist makes all the difference. My sister saw someone for like 7 years and was just circling the bush. I don't know what that person was doing but it was not helping any sort of evolution. Then she recently switched to a good therapist and made more ground in 3 months than 7 years!

I also decided to see someone about 3-4 months ago related to the trauma I've experienced from my 2 car accidents. She does a method called EMDR which helps clear trauma, PTSD stuff. Google it if you're interested. The point is she is very good and has helped very much.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby hosemasterflex » Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:42 am

I wonder from time to time if you're really over that shit dude. It makes sense that you wouldn't be. But it's nice to see your life resume relatively normally, given how your posts come across at least. It's a victory from what I can tell. So good on you for coming thru it, and then working through the details.

Me, I've been to three or four counselors, all with my wife except the last one, and none of them have been impressive. Actually we had two or three sessions with the priest from our church that we don't ever go to anymore, and those sessions resonate with me more than the others.

Surely you are correct, if my experience is any indication. I literally told the last guy that he must have better things to do than to listen to my bullshit, and just stopped goin.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby Joffrey » Sat Nov 16, 2013 8:19 pm

^yeah I working thru it. I had gone to a very talented physical therapist who recommended I go to a therapist too as chronic pain is usually tied to some unresolved issues. And lo. I knew the accidents were lingering hints but I never put the pain and mental trauma together. So I've benefitted. Not done yet!

There has to be a way of finding a quality professional though.... If u want that.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Tue Nov 19, 2013 8:29 pm

Doing everything I can to include family members I really do not visit with much for the Holidays, so tough...

So hard and emotional... Man...
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby jawbone » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:25 am

goldphish wrote:Image

lolz
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby ladyphish » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:32 am

I think a therapist would be beneficial to my family because we definitely need a non-biased 3rd party. They keep looking at me to play referee, but I see fault in both parties. All I hear from both of them is how I always take the other one's side.

I'm typing in this thread right now to avoid going upstairs with my husband. I'm not sure why. I just don't want much to do with him lately. I still feel like I love him...a lot...but it's like i don't want to be a wife right now or something. Even talking to him feels like this energy-sucking chore. I just want to do my own thing when I'm at home, but sometimes he wont let me be. I swear, i will never ever live with another mate as long as i live! If I didn't see him for the next week or so, well that would be fine by me.
I've been doing this a long time and have seen lots of changes most of which I can't fucking stand...but I still go anyway because I'm there for the MUSIC and so I tolerate all that other bullshit because I DO get the point. So there :-)
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby hosemasterflex » Wed Nov 20, 2013 6:46 am

Dude I'm flying to San Diego in a couple days to get away. That's pretty normal man. You need to have balance.

That last Mike Gordon interview I read talks about the benefits of hanging in there with Phish, for the long term payoff, and comparing it to marriage ... I also remember George Harrison's wife, explaining how, despite hardships and infidelity and whatnot, they stayed together .. and the secret? "Don't get divorced." haha.

So like, choose to accept it or choose to leave, is what I take from that. But shit, it's not that simple sometimes. And the longer you linger in indecision, the harder it gets to decide, I think.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby Joffrey » Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:06 pm

Were all therapizing up in here and shit.

Ollie there is a trap that families and close knit groups fall into: enmeshment. And that is one dysfunctional evil bugger. Research it online and see if your situation has some match. And if so do something about that. It would help you all very much. Becoming aware of the issue is the first step.

Therapy is a waste if all one does is complain about problems. That goes no where. It may feel good to get things off ones chest and nice to vent but we don't need to pay someone for that. But identifying issues and working to change. That's helpful.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby ladyphish » Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:32 pm

^I don't know that that's a proper fit for us. I acknowledge that a couple of issues are within the scope i/e the openness, but I always thought that's because neither of us feel the need to hide anything. We use the bathroom in front of each other, number 2 included and he held my hand and cried with me during the physical part of my miscarriage a few years back. So it really is a very open, no boundaries kind of relationship. It was such a welcome change after dating an asshole and then a psycho respectively before we met. Admittedly, we are pretty much only hang out with each other, but I feel like that's explainable as well. After my relationship with the psycho, I went from social butterfly to recluse. I can't tell you what dating an incredibly jealous and out-of-his-mind guy does to your psyche. The logical thing to do would be to separate yourself from him, but I altered my personality and my life to try to appease him. Now I'm fighting two lasting battles: 1. I don't let ANYBODY get anything up on me. 5 years later and I'm still in attack mode at all times, 2. I've lost the ability to relate to people like I once did. So, I just stopped making friends. It had nothing to do with Holt and feeling guilty about leaving him behind to do other things. I ditched the asshole in Dec and met Holt in April, so it was bad timing, I suppose. I just flat out haven't wanted to make friends or go anywhere with anybody since meeting him. Now I want solitude from him too, lol.

Thanks for telling me about enmeshment. I've never heard of it before. Definitely something to be on the look out for.
I've been doing this a long time and have seen lots of changes most of which I can't fucking stand...but I still go anyway because I'm there for the MUSIC and so I tolerate all that other bullshit because I DO get the point. So there :-)
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby phishinsky » Wed Nov 20, 2013 4:47 pm

We use the bathroom in front of each other, number 2 included


:silent:

But, I would change a few of those things, just to include some privacy which I think can help to looking more forward to time with each other...
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby Joffrey » Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:31 pm

Ollie, it's normal to be shaken up from dating a psycho but that you bring it forward to the point of it causing disruptions in your life is an issue. That is something you can work out. Also there is nothing wrong about being open and not having secrets but taking it to the point where there are no boundaries is dysfunctional... too much of a good thing. There needs to be healthy boundaries. It sets up a situation where the integrity and health of the individual is maintained. Without that we are constantly violated and our self esteem fails; psychologically we stumble. We need to feel empowered and strong and healthy boundaries is the start to standing on our own two feet. You say, "this is my space, my time, my area" and when that is honored without judgement or prejudice we can flourish better. Without that enmeshment follows.... we answer for the other person like they don't have their own voice, we take from each other like they don't own anything, we invade their space like they have no right to their own. This is dysfunctional. Where is the love, respect and honor in that? Becoming a fully functional, independent, self reliant individual is really a great act of love.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby ladyphish » Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:17 pm

^ I agree with all that. On the one hand, I absolutely love how free my relationship is, but I can see where ultimate freedom can cause issues. Will take all under advisement :-)
I've been doing this a long time and have seen lots of changes most of which I can't fucking stand...but I still go anyway because I'm there for the MUSIC and so I tolerate all that other bullshit because I DO get the point. So there :-)
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby El Bastarde » Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:34 pm

Ug…SO overwhelmed at work. My boss quit, I’m doing some of his stuff…I only kinda know how to do his stuff and if I had enough time I could look into the books and see how things were done. Of course, I don’t have time for that since I have to do all MY stuff too…some of which just isn’t getting done. Plus we just hired a temp to help with a few of my tasks and I have no clue if she’s a good worker or not but I need her around so I’m reluctant to do anything. Getting some backpain too which is lovely. Can’t WAIT for next week when I’ll get a much needed four-day vacation.

Meanwhile I'm looking to move but I'm just too tired to bother and want to just relax on weekends. Ug.

All I can say is I’m glad I’m not dating someone right now. Wouldn't need that headache as well.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby fone » Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:31 pm

^She might have also wanted to help you through all of this as well. Just a thought.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby El Bastarde » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:46 pm

^I know. It’d be nice to have that person but the stress of searching for her is probably what I was referring to.

Either way, I feel better now. Had a few beers with a bud last night, got some extra sleep and listened to some sweet tunes on the drive in that put me in a lovely mood. Music is the absolute best therapy.
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Re: OKP Therapy Thread

Postby willbreathes » Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:49 pm

Going through physical therapy right now, which includes massages. So that makes it better already than talking about feelings.

Carry on. :wave:
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