This was really a tough year. I never dreamed I’d have the opportunity to vote for a Radical Black Muslim, so I was very exited for the opportunity to vote for Osama. I think politicians are big pussies and we need a strong black man like Huey or H. Rap Brown up in this bitch.
Needless to say, I was very dissapointed when I found out he was not a muslim, not a socialist, nor was he actually black. He’s not even named Osama. I don’t even think they have the letter B in sanskrit. On top of that, it turns out he really is a pussy and isn’t really friends with Bill Ayers or that badass priest guy who kept talking shit about America. God damn America! True Dat!
But on the other hand, John Mclane is a true hero. I look to the time he heroically saved all those people trapped by terrorists in the Nakatomi Plaza, and how badass it was when he kicked the window in with his bloody feet. He showed that he can protect Americans from the threat of communism, because I think some of those guys were Russian. Plus, he’s got that crazy bitch.
Then I saw him on TV and I was like “What the fuck!?!” He was all old and gimpy and had nerve damage or some shit. I think that must have happened in the one where the cop car crashes into the helicopter or whatever. I didn’t see that one yet.
So it turns out the government-controlled media was really telling us some lies about these guys being badasses. What else is new?
I thought about voting for the midget billionaire guy from Texas, Sean Paul, or the seat belt guy cause they’re kind of crazy too, but, ya know, I don’t think America is ready for another retarded president.
So I just watched some internet porn.
Maybe in next year’s presidential election I’ll have the chance to vote for a real Black Power Socialist, but this time around it seems like Americans just aren’t ready to change.
