Americans vs. Italians

Non-Phish General
#1

I know there are a bunch of pizans on this board and I thought you might get a kick out of this.

American kids: Move out when they’re 18 with the full support of their parents.
Italian kids: Move out when they’re 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married…unless there’s room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and you sip coffee and chat.
Italian kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up,dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture.

American kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them, and it’s usually only on special occasions.
Italian kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads show up, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts pruning the fruit trees. If there are no fruit trees, he’ll plant some.

American kids: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Italian kids: Call their dad or uncle, and ask for another dad’s or uncle’s phone number to get it done.

American kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get only cake and coffee. No more.
Italian kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get antipasto, wine, a pasta dish, a choice of two meats, salad, bread, a cannoli, fruit, espresso, and a few after dinner drinks.

American kids: Will greet you with “Hello” or “Hi”.
Italian kids: Will give you a big hug, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your back.

American kids: Call your parents Mr . and Mrs.
Italian kids: Call your parents Mom and Dad.

American kids: Have never seen you cry.
Italian kids: Cry with you.

American kids : Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
Italian kids:Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.

American kids: Know few things about you.
Italian kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

American kids: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread .
Italian kids: Eat Genoa Salami and Provolone sandwiches on crusty Italian bread.

American kids: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing
Italian kids: Will kick the whole crowds’ ass who left you behind.

American kids: Are for a while.
Italian kids: Are for life.

American kids: Like Rod Stewart, and Steve Tyrell.
Italian kids: Worship Tony Bennett, and Sinatra

American kids: Think that being Italian is cool
Italian kids: Know that being Italian is cool.

American kids: Will ignore this.
Italian kids: Will forward it.

#2

Well at least the person who wrote that isn’t full of themselves.

#3

I don’t even know what this one means.

#4

some of the stereotypes are true

#5

This one is anyway: Italian kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get antipasto, wine, a pasta dish, a choice of two meats, salad, bread, a cannoli, fruit, espresso, and a few after dinner drinks.

I have an Italian grandmother… come over for a cup of coffee next thing you know there a ham on the table, platters of cookies, breads etc… just like the quote. Shes the best. As you leave shes wrapping up a piece of cake and stuffing it in your pocket. Its the most hilarious thing.

#6

My grandmother isn’t Italian and she’s always offering me food. And always sends leftovers home with me.

I think all grandmothers are like that.

#7

Nope, just the ones with a last name that ends in a vowel.

#8

My other g-mom is nothing like that. The Italian g-mom is pulling roast out the cupboards, lasagna out the cabinets, trays of cookies… she has literally wrapped a piece of frosted cake in a napkin and shoved it in my pocket as I was walking out the door complete with a cheek pinch. She’s 90 y/o and weekly hops on the bus to gamble in AC. Course all my Aunt and Uncles are gamblers. She’s had 9 kids. I simply get a kick out of her. She can’t hear, won’t wear hearing aides, call her and she’s constantly talking over you b/c she can’t hear what you say… constantly on the move. Her husband died, within a year she had a boyfriend… I love that lady. ;D She’s given me some wise words of advice that old gal. Wisdom is rare and every bit of it should be cherished. She’s one of the few people in my life who has actually said a few things that were wise. Most old people are just aged kids. Wow… I didn’t think I’d go off on a grandma ramble. I’ll have to give that spry old woman a call!

#9

Thread of the year! ???

#10

yep thats how my grandparents were as well, sunday was a feast and a half, we’d go over around 11am, eat a huge lunch, my g/f would ask whats for dinner as he’s eating his lunch, then dinner would be ~4-5 and we’d have the works, salad, bread, soup, meal, dessert, drinks, then we’d hit the road back home

we did this every sunday for pretty much all of my childhood, i miss those times so much, i’d sit with the g/f and watch baseball or whatever sporting event was on, or we’d watch looneytunes, he loved the looneytunes

every now and again when im out in the area they used to live in i’ll drive by the old house to refresh my mind of some of those memories

#11

i’m irish and filthy like a potatoe.

#12

potatoe?

potato?

potato.

#13

3

#14

Those American kids sure love their Rod Stewart!

And who’s the other guy? Steve Tyrell?

#15

#16

He is a dream boat!!

#17

<-----this guy’s is in love with Steve Tyrell!

#18

This-a thread’s a spicy meat-a-ball-a!!!

Stevo

#19

Not only do we like steve tryell and rod stewart, we also like Barry Manilow… NO we LOVE barry Manilow

#20

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it’s a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she’s lost her mind!