I’ve been letting my beard get bushier so I’m hettier than all of you bastages come tour time.
Ryan, you KNOW you’re buying one… Don’t deny it!
^Sean, I might have to now… 
I think the serious answer is that beards are associated with the anti-establishment and hence the counter-culture. The middle serious/not too serious answer is beards can be associated with the shady character, the drug dealer, the dark-glasses standing in the corner guy… thus invoking some mystery and even a tidbit of fear… for instance, beards can sometimes scare the children… its like a mask… And the not serious at all answer is beards make our balls bigger. Big beard? HUgE donkey dongy balls! My beard is so big you can’t even find my balls! yeah!.. umm hm… 
Hopefully my beard will be down to my balls by Alpine.
i woul d love to grow a beard, but my wife told me she would never have sex with me again. im not willing to call her bluff. 
I triple dog dare ya…