“Are you trying to tell me your one of theose guys who like guys?”
“Mmmm… 64 slices of processed american cheese”
Marge: Homer are you sure you want to stay home from church?
Television: Coming up next, build your ladder.
Homer: Very sure.
Watch this, Ned. They don’t call me “Springfield Fats” just because I’m morbidly obese!
(Homer flipping through the Bible in the Simpsons Movie)
“This thing doesn’t have any answers!!”
Hilarious.
Maybe for once, someone will call me “sir” without adding, “You’re making a scene.”
Homer: What
This “filthy monkey” made the orange juice you’re drinking!
I’m headed out to a comedy club right now and I plan on yelling “DON’T YOU HATE PANTS?”
“if we didn’t turn it down for the cops, what chance do you have?”
Ahh! Only 3 years too late to post this all time favorite! This line is classic because of the content as well as the delivery in that high-pitch “imitation” voice he does. Good choice.
spacecoyote, I have another great one from that episode.
I apologize if its already been said (I didnt read through every page)
“Of course it sounds bad if you remember it!!”
-Homer J.
man i’ve laughed out loud so many times rereading this thread
(homer the inventor)
Marge: Homer, I don’t think women will like being shot in the face with a gun.
Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.
(albuquerque isotopes)
Homer is laying on dog house
Bart: Good Grief.
Homer: Ow, my head. How long have I been out here?
Bart: All night. You were yelling at the swings.
Homer: I was? But I love the swings.
Bart: Dad, you were nuts.
Homer: You know me. Occasionally, I’ll be quirky. I’ll be quirky? Albuquerque!
(tennis court episode)
Homer: What the hell are you kids doing?
Lisa: We’re practicing tennis
Homer: That’s tennis?!? What’s the one where the chicks wale on each other?
Bart: You mean foxy boxing?
Homer: That’s what I wanted
and a bit cliched perhaps but it can’t go unquoted:
Spider-pig, spider-pig.
Does whatever a spider-pig does.
Can he swing from a web?
No he can’t. He’s a pig.
Look Out! He is a spider-pig
hahahahahaha…He’s the man whose name you’d love to touch. But you mustn’t touch!
Hahahahaha
Apu: Sir, I believe you dreamed that up.
Homer: Alright, well then just gimme a six pack of beer and a bag of skittles…
Yes, but doesn’t the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take…moochers into thy…hut’’?
Julia-Louis Dreyfuss: We’re in love, snake.
Snake: Don’t say that baby. I’m going to win you back if I have to pistol-whip this guy all night.
Homer Simpson: Pistol-whip? Mmmmmm pistol whip …
[Homer imagines he’s eating from a tub of Cool-Whip, using a pistol as a spoon.]
For some odd reason, Season 4 was missing from my collection of 1-7. Well, I fixed that today.
While Homer is making his “Space-Age Out of This World Moon Waffles”:
“oooohh… waffle run-off.”
Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead.
One of my all time favs
“Wait a second… he’s not the wallet inspector!”
Totally.