Crazy fundamentalist quotes

Non-Phish General
#1

pretty funny if you’re looking for a good read

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Greatest_Quotes_from_fundamentalist_christian_chat_rooms/

this one especially caught my attention

“The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways. Those that refuse to go can either be forced, or banished from society in other specialized communities where they have no connetion to the outside world at all. Most would die of AIDS anyway. Anyone who refused any of the answers to make them better would have to be killed or banished.”

:o :o

#2

LOL!!

“It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

#3

you rip on fundamentalist???

the greatest of the great???

#4

haha i just saw that on PT, too.

#5

Hank stop stealing material you unoriginal bastard.

#6

^troof

#7

fuck off and die

I thought it was funny

big deal

#8

Ok, that was harsh

piss off and get sick

but don’t die

#9

Nothing beats this one.

“Gravity: Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.”

#10

My favourite:

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

#11

haha holy crap, I can’t believe this is real!? It’s not directly from the list but it’s the article one of the comments is about.

http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/07/28/good/

then read comment # 3. hilarious.

#12

i thoroughly enjoyed this one.

"A few months ago I felt led to put together a “post rapture file” for my unsaved loved ones which is on my computer. My daughter knows that if she doesn’t come to Christ before we go that she is to get this file and share it with everyone. I’m working on a list of names and contact info to put in the file. Anyway, today I just felt very strongly that not only should I remind her of it, but to witness to her for the 1000th time and give her complete instructions on what to do as soon as we are gone. I even went so far as to tell her as soon as we are gone that she is to go to a house that belongs to a friend since he will be gone too. It is WAY off the grid. I’m going to talk to him about it tomorrow and get directions. He loves Tiffany like his own granddaughter so I know it will be fine since all of his loved ones are going too.

I gave her the pin # to my atm and credit cards. I told her to make sure that she plants as big a garden as she can and learn to can food. Not to worry about the kids because they will be with Nana. I’m putting instructions in the file about how to start the generator, where her Daddy’s guns are and how to load them, where the spare car and truck keys are, etc., etc., etc. "

#13

^^i clicked on the link. i think that might go down as the Most Fucked thing of all time.

#14

haha I didn’t catch that one. fucked indeed.

#15

Oh my.

#16

Wowow… I’m feel all warm and fuzzy now… carry on my fundamentalist brothers!

#17

i wish Tom Cruise were here to set these misguided souls straight.

#18

LOL. Yeah, at least the Scientologists don’t hate the Gays…just the psychologists. And that’s only because they’re all insane and don’t want a psychologist to commit them.

And, of course, the worst is that these people have children…man, those poor kids…

Stevo