I’ll start with the “Airing of Grievences”
200 channels and still nothing on! Thank gad for WGN and Bulls games. Twice a month >:(
Gas prices. Don’t gimme some they pay more in england bullshit. I want 1.77 back for good!
Health Insurance. I’m just waiten to get sick then fucked by mine!
The feats of strength will commence after all have aired!
people that dont give “the wave” when you let them get in front of you while driving.
people that dont give “the wave” and then when you honk at them to let them know it upset you they stop in the middle of traffic and get out of the car and start some shit.
kwanzaa
theres more…lemme think.
oh shit…people you hold the door for and then they just give you a look like “fuckin better hold that door for me.” i always shout “YOURE WELCOME!” they just look at me like im the rude one. mother fuckers. what the hell is wrong with people?
it’s actually pretty difficult to offend or anger me.
but one thing that does it 100% of the time is when people wait til the very, very last second to squeeze in when a lane is closed. i ALWAYS get over early and leave 2 to 3 car lengths in front of me to let others in. it’s not to be polite, it’s to be functional and speed up the process of getting past the bottleneck. without fail, there will be people who refuse to get over until the last second. and by that time they have to cut someone off, squeeze in and gunk up the whole flow.
those people deserve to die.
People who constantly ask how school/work is going. Trust me, nothing fun ever happens in those areas, and my answers are gonna be the same as last time we talked.
The guy that ran over my foot with his freakin shopping cart rushing to get in line. Bonehead.
Snow.
Cold.
Slush.
Chewing with your mouth open.
Good god people, get it together.
Act like a human, not a farm animal.
and I’m not sure if this is part of that or a completly different one…
Regardless, when using a fork or spoon, don’t bite onto the said fork/spoon with your teeth and make that awful sound.
I second neck and charlieJack.
Those get my blood boiling as well.
No fucking Phish again this year…
Cosmo Kramer: Is there a tree?
Frank Costanza: No, instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
Frank Costanza: It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
Mr. Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.
Alright, my grievance is directed towards a guy I work with in the summer. He’s this older guy, who is so fucking stupid, it pisses me off. I’m not one to poke fun of someone who is less fortunate than I, but when it directly effects how my day goes, it pisses me the fuck off.
Example:
Our parking lot at the park I work at, isn’t much of a parking lot. It’s more like a side area… where we all park in a row. It’s also slightly at an angle, which is what makes this even more important. When said person comes into work EVERY FUCKING MORNING, he decides to park wherever the fuck he wants to with his shitbox of a vehicle. EVERYONE ELSE goes the next in line like a normal fucking person would, but no, he’s got to fuck everything up by parking wherever. This ALWAYS leaves an odd gap where a car won’t fit. And of course his car isn’t at the same angle as everyone elses, so that fucks it up even more.
He does shit all thorughout the day that pisses me off. Thankfully, I’ve been in a position the last 4 years where I don’t have to fucking deal with him. My first year I had to work with him a few times and it was horrible, now I just let him fuck shit up all on his and stay the fuck away.
Ahhhhh, I feel much better.
greivance #2.
i have a friend, we’ll call Ben (actual name). he’s a real nice guy and all, but he’s strangely munipulative, and i have trouble saying no to people sometimes. this made for some aggrivating situations. i used to work with him and here’s how a typical conversation would have gone:
Ben: hey are you going to lunch later?
Me: yeah.
Ben: what time are you going?
Me: one o clock, just like every day.
Ben: oh. well, what are you getting?
Me: chinese.
Ben: oh that sounds really good! you mind if i join you?
Me: …no, that’s fine.
Ben: you sure?
Me: yep. no problem.
Ben: cool. hey, do you mind if we leave a little later though? like 3? and do you mind if we go to the deli instead?
Me: ummmmmmm…well, i was really wanting to go at one, and i really wanted chinese.
Ben: okay. i guess i just won’t eat today then.
argh.
Hairy pubes.
People who use up an entire aisle at the grocery store.
Or those who just stand in the middle.
I don’t dodge anymore, so I’ve made contact with a few people – fuck 'em.
;D
Wouldn’t it be nice to enjoy a pint of Festivus ice cream right now?
http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/press_center/press/festivus1127.html
Why did you retire it, Ben & Jerry?
Why!!!
:’(
Grievance: People complaining about petrol prices in the US
It’s $2 a LITRE over here!
Grievance: People moaning about Christmas.
This time of year, amid all the festive chear, there is always a scrooge or two to dampen the mood. What really hacks me off about these cretins is they always complain about the same things - Christmas shopping is horrible - it’s too commercial - there’s nothing good on TV anymore - I have to spend time with my family who I don’t like - I spend a lot of money and then get presents I don’t want. Shut the fuck up you miserable bastard.
That’s the Christmas Festivus spirit!
^ Maybe all you other countries should start bitching more about gas prices.
I totally agree with the driving grievances. Especially the lane ending stuff. My favorite is when they don’t get over and then expect me to let them in. I’ve already turned on my blinker and gotten over, but they’re riding next to me and think they should just be allowed to get over. FUCK YOU! I did the right thing, you will not get in here! Then they glare at me like I’M the jackass! Another pet peeve is people who drive slow in the left lane of the interstate! I mean, it says “slower traffic keep right” but it never fails I have to pass some turtle driving in the left lane. You would think after they are passed, they would get over but NOOOOO. I swear, one day you’re going to hear about some chick from Alabama in a Subaru who lost her shit and started ramming people with her vehicle. It’s not going to be pretty but ohhhhhh will it be worth it!
“Friends” who lean on you time and time again for support, but when it’s your turn, all of a sudden they’re too busy to return phone calls or they treat you like you just told them you have a hangnail and “It’ll be alright”. Really? Is that the best you can do after the hours I spent listening to you bitch and moan and cry about, for example, the fact that my friend’s sister had a baby before she did. This girl calls me hysterically crying and I think something is terribly wrong. Turns out she was upset because her younger sister got pregnant before she did…my friend and her husband weren’t trying to get pregnant. She was just upset that she wasn’t going to be the first to have a baby. Cut to a few months later when I’m pretty down about some personal things and she didn’t have time for me and blew me off like it was no big deal. She’s not the only one who does this to me. I have 2 girl friends who call me and talk constantly about themselves. For like an hour I’ll listen to them and barely get a word in edgewise. The minute I try to talk about something, they’re tired and have to go. I just don’t even answer their calls anymore. It makes me not even want to try anymore.
d) all of the above and too many others to list
damn the world