We are all responsible for our words and their impact on one another, whether we ‘mean’ anything by them or not. We are also responsible for our reactions to other people’s words, because we can seldomly be so sure the words are actually conveying the writer’s true meaning.
I don’t blame Greg for his reaction because Verns words obviously struck a nerve, and he felt attacked. And sometimes you’re just not strong enough to be put upon this way, and can’t always shrug it off. We have our highs and we have our lows.
But sometimes when this sort of exchange develops, it’s often better to stop the counter-offensive in the public forums, and confront your attacker privately to see what’s going on. In some instances, there are personality conflicts that can’t be rectified, but most times you tend to understand the private person better than the public personna, and the comeraderie is restored.
But I can also understand why Greg is upset. He really takes a lot of abuse around here because it’s been a long standing joke to unload on him. We thought that he was OK with the fooling around, but obviously he’s not. It’s not so bad if you get dumped on every once in a while for your posts, but it’s another thing to be dealing with it a lot, from a lot of different people. You start believing the joke, and believing that most people don’t respect you.
This happened to another (once) regular OKP’er, who was the object of a longstanding joke, and I went along with it publically, until I caught some inuendo from this person that he was a little pissed at it. I contacted him privately, and it was indeed the case. I don’t know whether it is the reason he is not longer posting regularly, but I felt really badly about it and am kind of sensitive to teasing anyone unless I’m sure they know where I’m coming from.
I’m real sorry to see Greg go, and especially under these conditions. Unresolved emotional conflicts are never good things for us or for him. But I really enjoy reading Greg’s viewpoints. There are few people on the OKP who choose to express themselves as well as Greg does, no matter how valid/invalid I believe his arguments to be from my POV.
I didn’t read the whole exchange between Vern and Greg, so I don’t know where the personal attacks started. But there is a point where a counter-argument to an idea can turn into a generalized personal attack about the presenter, and we should all be mindful of this, otherwise we will become the PT very quickly. And if you find yourself ‘troubled’ by something someone said to or about you publically, there is nothing wrong with confronting that person privately and letting them know how you reacted. It’s almost your responsibility to do so, otherwise you begin to take blame if the treatment continues, because that other person may think you’re OK with everything and just counter-arguing as part of the ‘game’.
I’m with CJ on this one, if you’re reading this, Greg. I wish you the best, and really hope you get to see Phish soon. Whether it’s a crappy solo Trey song or not that they decide to play, the full band will make it their own, and it could blast into the stratosphere. btw, I kind of agree with you on most of Trey’s solo releases, but I might have expanded on this with you, but it’s too late I guess.
