“They avoid police stops on our roads by tucking their long hair back into their shirts and driving moderately”
Haha!!! Too many gems to quote! Far too many!!
At least now I know why that weird guy with the bible kept asking me if I masturbate at Red Rocks? 
I didn’t realize it was an official poll! 
They will take great delight in speaking of concerts or even attending them, though their range of performers is quite limited and rarely goes beyond the bands The Grateful Dead and The Phish. 
Yeah dude my friend overdosed on pot the other day.
Isn’t that what everybody does? I mean, aside from the hair tucking.
Gah, it just makes me depressed how people are afraid of other people. Afraid of anything, really. There’s no point to living in fear.
I don’t know about you, but I think this is pretty accurate:
The Phish play for a younger, more innocent crowd less concerned about social activism and more preoccupied with a sarcastic disdain for conformity. The songs revolve around the absurd, yet still force the simpleminded to celebrate self-indulgence and radical consumerism. For fans of The Phish, life is about expressing an identity through purchasing “green†products and watching adult cartoons. They will abuse drugs and frustrate their parents, but never enough to land in jail or lose their allowances (even into adulthood). Masturbation and LSD are also shockingly common in this crowd. For your average Phish concert-goer, it’s not uncommon for them to awake in odd circumstances (at the side of a road, wallet emptied and their body covered in bruises, for example) with no recollection of what transpired the night before. This cycle of amnesia is what keeps them coming back for more shows as they try to figure out what they could have possibly done to themselves.
My only objection is they linked the words “fans of The Phish” to PT instead of the OKP. I guess the PT only proves their point more. btw, I love when people use the term, “The Phish”. And also, the girls they chose to post were hot, so one of the authors had some prurient thing going on. Hmmmmm.
“Masturbation and LSD are also shockingly common in this crowd.”
You guys all know that christwire is a satirical site, right?
“Instead, they worship Mother Gaia and her tree fairies, witchcraft, the cult of
self-indulgence, masturbation 
, and any form of abuse.”
"Under the radar of sturdy Americanism, they live out a prolonged adolescence where the they chase a nightmarish list of kicks: marijuana, hashish, LSD, heroin, magic mushrooms, ice, nitrous oxide, crystal meth, Oxycotton, opium, Nexus, MDMA, GHB, mescaline and more. "
Ice???
I must admit…they are RIGHT ON with the masturbation 
…I mean, I am sure that the person who wrote that article has never jerked off. Myself, I set aside time everyday SPECIFICALLY for that, so that is damn good investigative reporting…I better keep my windows closed!
LOL…when was this article written? The 1950’s? Wow.
Seriously, I would argue that most hippies really don’t exist in that most hippies nowadays do have jobs and such. Of course there are the outliers but they’re fairly rare.
I don’t even know what to say after reading this.
Just sad . . .really sad 
I mean, this guy has OBVIOUSLY not eaten a bunch of acid and jerked off before. Poor guy
Shit, is it? I thought I had a pretty good radar for spotting the satire and separating it from the people who were actually serious. Well, it’s damn funny anyway.
From the article: “On a personal level, a hippie can be defined as a person who will abuse drugs until the day he or she dies, irregardless of health issues or pleas from their children. They wear loose, used clothing and grow their hair unnecessarily long. Both males and females adorn themselves with colorful, cheap jewelry and avoid precious metals like gold or diamonds. Their appearance is wholly unkempt and they mask their unwashed bodily odors with patchouli oil, incense or other fragrances.”
Another article from Christwire.org:
Mexican Zombie Flu Raises Black Rapper “Tupac” From the Dead
christwire.org/2009/04/mexican-z … -the-dead/
Internet website TMZ.com confirmed today that gangster hipper hopper Tupac is one of the many risen from the dead. He was killed during a typical black family shootout, probably over women and welfare money.
His spirit is surely entertaining Satan with urban black culture but now his corpse was spotted all reanimated, partying with other hoodlums in Louisiana.
About the Author
If you don’t like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters.
Sorry, couldn’t get through the whole article…I gotta go drop 2 hits of L and whack off before the show in Augusta tonight
OK, so it’s a satirical website. What I wonder is whether the 2,000 people who “liked” this article on the Facebook function know that it’s a joke. I would like to think most of them do, but you gotta think there are some people who read shit like that and actually completely agree with it.
::takes mind-bending psychotropics and masturbates while listening to crosseyed and painless::
I had never heard of it, either. That’s a bit of a relief. They sell the hell out of it though. It sounds like all the other earnestly bat-shit crazy stuff out there.
"Rather, it is like an improvised jazz solo with the lowest quality acoustical instruments pumped through a sound system purchased at a toy store. There are screams and shrieks and depressing sessions of drum beatings that never seem to end. "
Well. There was this one time at Jones Beach this year…