in my experience with losing people close to me, it seems that the big lesson of coping with the concept of death is to understand that everything is temporary. To teach us to appreciate the only thing we can be sure of - what is directly in front of us. What you’re subconscious is trying to get into your conscious is that you’re still here. The other people in your life are still here and you shouldn’t be taking that for granted. This is the last lesson that these missing friends of yours are trying to teach you.
Its always difficult to let go of anything, weather it be loved ones, pets, relationships, homes, places even right down to things like your first car or favorite guitar because your dealing with the concept of never, which is a total mystery because its never presented itself in full to anybody. We don’t know what it really means for something to never occur again.
I don’t understand death. Neither does anybody else. Its never happened to me. And you aren’t going to understand it on this side of it so why torture yourself trying to figure it out. There’s never been a philosopher that’s successfully spent his entire life searching and searching for something that wouldn’t just come naturally to somebody who isn’t looking for it at all. Myself included (on both sides of the coin).
All the mysteries of life that you really need to know will probably reveal themselves in any number of ways, by presenting you with situations like these that you have to deal with. And with every notch on your belt you grow wiser for the experience. So although its hard to not sit and wonder what could or couldn’t have been (and i’m certainly plenty guilty myself), there doesn’t seem to be a point to beating yourself up over whys and hows of things that you’ll have to accept and deal with anyway. It’ll only lead to more suffering in your already temporary lifespan.
maybe.
i really don’t know. I’m just guessing. So is everybody else, even if they spend all their time fighting it and struggling for an answer. And although this might be worded kind of strange, I’m not trying to attack you or give you a “life sucks. get over it” speech. You just said something about coping and this is what comes to mind. I’ve lost several people that meant a lot to me in the last few years and sometimes it really sucks to not have them around. But all that really does is make those that ARE still around all the more special, and all the things i went through with the people that aren’t around anymore all the more special. It makes something, anything far more meaningful to understand how temporary it is, and all the more clear that every moment is etched in time forever and its all part of the natural progression of things, no matter how unnatural it seems- all these things are completely out of our control.
I’m very sorry for all your losses both “permanent” and intangible. Their reasoning will reveal themselves to you at some point in time.
So it goes.
