Life on planet Earth

Non-Phish General
#1

Now I know what I wanna be when I grow up: a langurwallah.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/14121007/ns/world_news-weird_news/t/india-train-company-turns-monkey-business/#.VRhPY_nF-So

India train company turns to monkey business:
Fierce-looking primate employed to keep wayward monkeys off subways

NEW DELHI, India - They say it takes a thief to catch a thief, but India’s Delhi Metro has hired a monkey to frighten off other monkeys from boarding trains and upsetting passengers.
In an effort to keep monkeys out of the New Delhi subways, authorities have called in one of the few animals known to scare the creatures — a fierce-looking primate called the langur, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Wednesday.
The decision to hire a langurwallah — a man who trains and controls the langurs — came after a monkey got into a metro car June 9, the newspaper reported.
In that incident, a monkey boarded a train at the underground Chawri Bazaar station and reportedly scared passengers by scowling at them for three stops. It then disembarked at Civil Lines station.
Passengers had to be moved to another car while staff chased the dexterous creature, causing delays.
The Delhi Metro Rail Corporation says it hopes the new hire will avert a repeat of that episode.
“It started working about a month ago and since then we’ve not had a single incident,” said Anuj Dayal, a metro spokesman.
The langur handler is being paid a retainer of India rupees 6,900 ($160) a month, and “he will be called whenever there is a monkey problem,” Dayal was quoted as saying.
“There are too many monkeys,” Dayal was quoted as saying.
Langur monkeys are similarly employed around the grounds of parliament and some government buildings in New Delhi.

#2

just… wow.

cool, but when you look at it… it should have been one of those things spoofed on futurama.

#3

goddamn monkeys…

#4

passengers scared by a scowl?

That happens to me everyday in the subway here in Chicago.
I’m sure in New York as well.

Indians are scaredy cats.

#5

Silver Langur

#6

look at that smug look on his face…that little bastard.

#7

Are you sure it’s an Indian guy with a sweet sweater?

#8

I don’t know that langur doesn’t look too “fierce”… I don’t see why the monkeys just can’t jump him and kick his ass.

maybe the langur has some secret karate moves or shames them with his enormous private parts…

#9

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really wanna fuck with something as acrobatic as a monkey…

#10

Switching gears slightly, but still pretty much erratic behavior from some monkeys here on planet Earth. I can’t even begin to put into words all the things that are wrong with this picture.

#11

Life on planet earth= dunzo.

#12

I read this in the news. Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin is 10 miles northeast of my parents’ home in northern Illinois.

A Kenosha man is dead after getting sucked into a wood chipper.

Thirty-year-old Jeremiah Sanders, the owner of J’s Quality Tree Service, was killed Tuesday at a home he was working at in Pleasant Prairie.

Sanders got caught in the chipper after using his foot to free a log that had gotten jammed.

Sanders’ nephew, Adam Sanders heard his uncle’s cries for help. “I had to hear him say help me, help me, come and help me and the sounds of him being chipped up.”

Sanders’ co-workers desperately tried to stop the chipper and even put it in reverse, but it didn’t work.

“As I was trying to hit the reverse I looked down and he (Sanders) was up to his ribs and I turned around, I couldn’t watch and listen no more, I had to get out of there,” Adam said.

“It seemed like forever but the chipping experience I have to say it probably took about 7 seconds and it had to be the worse way to die.”

A tearful James Bennett saw the terrible accident happen on his property in Pleasant Prairie.

“All of sudden he started going in and I started yelling, ‘Stop the machine, stop the machine!’ They couldn’t hear me. He just went right in and then I came running up to tell my wife.”

Jeremiah Sanders had two daughters and a baby on the way.

The Sander’ family has set up a fund for his children at the First Banking Center in Kenosha. To help out call 262-657-9110.

“He was a good hearted brother and he always helped people out,” says William Sanders, Jeremiah’s brother.

OSHA is investigating why the reverse bar on the wood chipper did not work.

#13

That really, really, really, really sucks.

But what a dumbass.

#14

what a horrible way to go.

#15

man, i thought i was reading a movie script.

that would be pretty unimaginable to expierence or witness.

i don’t think i could witness that and be okay, “up to his ribs”

i can picture it now, i see poor Steve Buscemi getting minced

#16

a guy goes through the woodchipper in the movie “fargo” i’m pretty sure.

#17

^
not just any guy.

Steve Buscemi!

#18

That was just a movie…some human replica parts and fake blood being shoved into a smaller wood chipper. This was real-life-Joe-Six-Pack kicking…well, flailing and screaming while his entire body was sucked into a huge wood chipper. The short experience for him and the experience for all the witnesses must have been insane. Those are images and feelings that will always be rattling around in their heads. The rest of us can see it as a strong example of what-not-to-do around machinery.

#19

YIKES!

I’m caring for an old man who lost half his arm in a wood chipper. I though that was bad enough!

#20

If I can think of ways NOT to die, it’d be something like this:

  1. Airplane crash
  2. Eaten alive
  3. Burned alive
  4. Drowning
  5. Bleeding to death (stab, gunshot, etc)
  6. WOODCHIPPER!