MAUDE
Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey. Little
matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography, nor that she has been “banging” Jackie
Treehorn, to use the parlance of our times. However. I am
one of two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation, the other
being my father. The Foundation takes youngsters from Watts
and–
DUDE
Shit yeah, the achievers.
MAUDE
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers,
yes, and proud we are of all of them.
I asked my father about his withdrawal
of a million dollars from the
Foundation account and he told me
about this "abduction", but I tell
you it is preposterous. This
compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride.
DUDE
Yeah, but my-
MAUDE
I'm getting to your rug. My father
and I don't get along; he doesn't
approve of my lifestyle and, needless
to say, I don't approve of his.
Still, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter,
so I'm proposing that you try to
recover the money from the people
you delivered it to.
DUDE
Well--sure, I could do that--
MAUDE
If you successfully do so, I will
compensate you to the tune of 1% of
the recovered sum.
DUDE
A hundred.
MAUDE
Thousand, yes, bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
DUDE
Yeah, but what about--
MAUDE
--your rug, yes, well with that money
you can buy any number of rugs that
don't have sentimental value for me.
And I am sorry about that crack on
the jaw.
The Dude fingers his jaw, where the lump from the sap has
all but disappeared.
DUDE
Oh that's okay, I hardly even--
MAUDE
Here's the name and number of a doctor
who will look at it for you. You
will receive no bill. He's a good
man, and thorough.
DUDE
That's really thoughtful but I--
MAUDE
Please see him, Jeffrey. He's a
good man, and thorough.