It wasn’t the outsidedness (<new word) of comedy that threw me off. It was the newness of the flick. It went untouched for a day or two, so it was time for help. No worries.
“I had a mother lined up for him, but she’s bangin’ the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won’t stop peeing and throwing up, he’s like a cocker spaniel.”
-Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands! You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call “Operation Human Shield”.
*Hey, wait a minute…
-Now keep in mind, ‘Operation Human Shield’ will suffer heavy losses. But don’t lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14? Right, you are ‘Operation Get Behind The Darkies’. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God’s Sake. Are there any questions men?
Well, you see, I didn’t know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn’t know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn’t know! But the liquor store guy… he knew.
“I will need two pieces of identification.
Ah yes…I have my temporary driver’s license, and my astronaut application form… I didn’t pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.”
colors…I wouldn’t have got that if it wasnt for my old man being a huge robert duvall fan.
B: I’m The Boss.
S: I thought he was The Boss.
B: Why? Do we look alike? So you were gonna tell me something?
S: I don’t know, you brought me here.
B: Yes. But back when you thought I was him.
S: I didn’t think you were him, I thought he was you. And I was trying to tell him - you that you picked up the wrong guy.
B: The wrong guy for what?
S: Whatever it is you wanna see me about.
B: Do you know what I wanna see you about?
S: No.
B: Then how do you know I got the wrong guy?
S: Cause I’m not…
B: Maybe I want to give you $96,000. In that case do I still have the wrong guy?
S: Do you wanna give me $96,000?
B: No, do you wanna give me $96,000?
S: No, should I?
B: I don’t know, should you?
S: I don’t know, should I?
B: [pause] Long story - short.
S: I think we’re well passed that.
B: I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.
S: Okay, I’m under the impression that you’re under the impression that I owe you $96,000…?
B: No, you owe Slim Hopkins $96,000. You owe Slim, Slim owes me. You owe me.