…hows that for rain in miami? 
The sidewalk vendor told me the owls were friendly.
i was thinking more along the lines of cauliflower ear…but whatever fits yer fancy, miss.
But how can I get the captain to pull the ship over if I’m thirsty for ketchup?
first let me post this pic of the cauliflower ear.
second…third.
secondthird.
2nd3rd.
i mean…we’re talkin stripes and camo here…STRIPES AND CAMO!!! how come you dont get it?
its me isnt it? im not being clear enough or something?
Do you hear what I hear?
i mean…they went to tijuana to find some guy that put a tire aorund these guys’ necks and poured gasoline on em and lit em on fire…they found him…got shot at…roofied him up and stuck him in the trunk.
they got through the border alright which was nothing short of a miracle…that michael guy…hes always got some sort of trick up his sleeve…either a trick or luck…im still not sure which it is.
i’ll never be sure.
yeah well last week, I was walking to the store and this lady was following me. She had really long hair and smelled like monkey shit…not dog shit, not rabbit shit, but monkey shit. I asked her if she knew where the library was and she told me that the half life of Helium was 3…but I had left my periodic table at home and I didn’t know if she was bullshitting me or not. I said, if you aren’t gonna eat that can I have it? She gave me her hat and I bid her farewell.
photo 1 :
here we see two teenagers fake singing into banana-phones…(see what i did there? i made banana and microphone like one word or something…its a clever trick i came up with feel free to use it if need be.) but unbeknownst to them their effort to please and humor and entertain the baby were lost. the baby had more on its mind as seen in photograph 2. bigger and MUCH more important things.
photo 2 :
on a sidenote…just so we are all aware…the girl on the left is holding some sort of urine receptical…i promise its not like a juice container or something…i promise.
The only time I ever at squid was at an RV park in South Dakota.
I like to do word searches with guitars and wheel barrows in the dark sky at 2pm.
four times now…its happened four fucking times…my head is about to explode…its like an itching feeling in the back of my scalp…it just keeps getting worse and worse.
finally i realized that putting earwigs in my hair was a bad idea…it took me four fucking times of doing that that i finally realized it was never meant to be.
how could it?
On the other hand, it’s really hard to know when you should stop the cockroaches from eating your gearshift. I mean, think about it. Would you really want to have a picnic with the sun when you know the moon’s gonna be all pissed off about the size of your thumb??? C’mon, you’re smarter than that.
i figured it would take a turn like this eventually.
it was all just a matter of time.
time?
time.
whose time?
alpine.
alpine lace.
alpine lace cheese.
swiss.
switzerland.
swiss army knives.
carving knife.
turkey.
see…see how easy it was to go from “time” to “turkey” ?
easy as pie.
easy. as. pie.
Can you believe how easy it was to slip past the guards and grab the toast? I was thinking about it the other day when the jello was almost ready. The only thing that kept me sane was the alpine lace and the swiss army knife. I think I’m gonna order Turkey’s Gone Wild…Wild Boars Gone Wild was too redundant. However, the door to the veranda was made of waffles and I was outta syrup…fuckers.
“Who’s the canned ham that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?” Awwwww, yeah…Tarja Parssinen, Negin Farsad, and Xania Woodman pay homage to the ham who needs no introduction.
Damn…
Just…DAMN.
Lock it Vern!
I mean… Greg!
You want to lock what you cannot understand. Just because the truck pulled the buscuits by the hand doesn’t make them any less book smart. You dig?
Is this the Mad-Libs thread?
rash on the forehead of your mom’s dog made sweet music to rock out to.
(ollie/thom, did i do it right?)