My dad just died...

Non-Phish General
#21

Good Lord…the dude was only 53…that’s FAR too young for anyone. My Dad’s ten years older. I try to give my Mom a hug every once in a while and let them know I love them but I think I’ll try to do it a little more often. I’ve thought of what things would be like if this kind of thing would happen and just the thought almost makes me want to cry.

Good vibes man…I can’t even begin to give you good advice on how to deal with it…just try to enjoy the things that make you happy for a while if that’s about it…

Stevo

#22

That’s horrible Justin. I wish you and your family all the best.

#23

Guelah, Im sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a year ago May 31st, was the toughest thing Ive ever had to deal with. There is not a day that will go by the rest of your life that you wont think of him. There is also not much others will be able to say to you in order to make it feel any less painful.

Im sorry and I wish you and your family the best in these hard times.

#24

So sorry Guelah…Time is the eternal healer…

#25

“There is also not much others will be able to say to you in order to make it feel any less painful.”

Not true. Every single word is what I need to handle this. This thread helped me get a good cry out, which I haven’t been doing much around my friends. Crying is needed, but I’m trying not to be miserable. It would be incredibly hard to do without all of the support and energy coming from everybody.

It’s all just harder than hell because it was sudden, and that I really haven’t gotten to spend as much time with him in the last few years. He was a great great extremely hilarious man. He loooooved music and passed that love onto me. He was an extreme influence on my life and he touched a lot of people. I can’t believe he’s gone. I just can’t fucking believe it. I never thought it would happen to me any time soon, and I don’t know how I am going to deal with living the rest of my life without my best friend. He was a great dad. I’m gonna really fucking miss him. I don’t know who to call now when I’m lost on a road trip, or when my computer’s fucking up, or when I don’t know how to fix my car. It’s unreal. It happened like 20 hours ago and it’s just starting to really sink in. It’s been very surreal, and the next few days are going to be extremely hard.

I’m just so glad that I have all of my friends’ support. It’s keeping me sane. That and my guitar. Thank you all so much for your kind words, they really are helping out.

Soo, everybody try to party some tonight, because that’s what Dad always told me to do when he died. Throw a big party. It’s hard to do, but I’m working on it. Soo everybody have some fun tonight, throw on some Led Zeppelin (Dad’s favvvvvorite), and savor the good times. They sure as shit don’t last forever.

“Death don’t have no mercy in this land”

PS- Don’t evvvvvvveeerr listen to Widespread’s “Don’t Wanna Lose You” right after you lose somebody unless you plan on balling your face off (no pun intended).

#26

oh shit, now I’m crying.
but i’m listening to Zeppelin. Song Remains the Same!

#27

::cues up LZ::

#28

God Bless you Guelah. My condolences go out to you and your family. Keep your head up and know that your Dad is in a great place. You will be able to hang out with your best friend again one day.

I think a little Rock and Roll from Zeppelin sounds nice right about now.

#29

Right after I found out yesterday and I got in my car to go home, the second my radio popped on…“GOOD TIMES BAD TIMES, YOU KNOW I’VE HAD MY SHARE”. Perfect timing. I also felt him in a very comfortable soothing breeze yesterday right after I found out. And last night, I know it sounds cliche and cheesy and all that, but I found a star that I’ve never seen while in the city in a constellation I study a lot. It was so strange. I’ll always call that “Mark Star”.

#30

when i want to have myself a good cry i put on “It makes No Difference” from the Last Waltz

emotion oooozes out of the song, and that version in particular since it was their last performance

were here for ya justin

#31

Hmm, I listened to Song Remains the Same during work today… cosmic… vibes to you once again Justin.

#32

Justin, man… I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now but I’m so sorry for your loss. I know those sound like hollow words, but I truly want you to know that we are all here for you.

#33

sorry for your lose brother.much love and peace.

(((((((((((( vibes))))))))))))))))

#34

i learned Tangerine and Hey, Hey What Can I Do? earlier today to play on thursday night.

and that’s kinda weird, ya know, cuz i’m not the world’s biggest zep fan. oh i like them just fine, but they were more of a teenage thing for me. but i was just thinking what new songs should i learn just to get some more variety in, and Tangerine instantly popped in my head.

kinda serendipitous or something. i’ll definately put my all into those songs with yer pops in mind ; )

#35

Thoughts and prayers are with you, Justin.
I can’t even begin to imagine the pain & emptiness that you are feeling right now.
With the Zep playing and feeling him in the breeze, those aren’t just strange coincidences, he is there with you, watching over you to make sure that you are hanging in there.
I am a firm believer that even though he may not be there, physically, he will always, ALWAYS be with you every day, watching over you and protecting you.
Best of luck in this difficult time, and sending vibes your way. Pounding “Mothership” at work today…

#36

I’d recommend avoiding the studio version of “Dirt” as well…that just killed me when I listened to it soon after my grandfather died.

Keep at it, man…

Stevo

#37

my condolences to you and your family.

#38

Hang in there, Justin.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

#39

I hear that about “It makes no difference”. That song is so incredibly sad. I have a great version of Trey’s dectet playing that at the Landmark Theatre, and it’s full of feeling. And Grippo rips it up.

I couldn’t agree with you more, Phinest. I definitely feel him. We threw a party last night for him and laughs and tears were had. I can’t fucking get over the amazing family I have. All my friends have been so supportive, and it’s really keeping me sane. I couldn’t ask for a better group of people.

I think I just may offend some folks at the funeral, like some of my hard-headed-set-in-their-own-ways elder relatives, because I’m set on wearing Liberty overalls, and a tie-dye shirt. I don’t give a fuck if anyone doesn’t like it, because it was his favorite thing to wear, (and mine, really) and I will always picture him wearing them.

Now I gotta work on a soundtrack for the recieving of friends.

Thanks again everybody for all the kind words. They mean sooooo much!!

LOVE!

#40

Don’t fret on this. Me and my brother recently lost a close friend who had multiple health issues for his entire life to where he couldn’t work and had his mother (a nurse, thankfully) take care of him for his whole life…he died at the age of 32 though it was sadly a little bit inevitable. Anyway, he was always a grungey-type dude who hated dressing up and stuff so his family told all the people who attended that they could dress in jeans or whatever because he wouldn’t want folks to dress up which was a real cool idea. We all stood there at the reception in our jeans and such and spent hours just telling ridiculous crazy stories of what he did as a kid (blowing up his kitchen being one of the classics). I highly doubt folks will doubt you for doing that, especially since he’s your Dad but maybe you could invite the other funeral goers to have the choice to do the same (if the rest of your family is cool with that). It worked well at my friend’s funeral…not everyone did it but at the same time it made us think more positively about him and remind us about the kind of kid he was. Good vibes, man…

Stevo