Just make sure you leave no graffiti in the bowl or a coworker will have to shoot it off with pee! 
I think it’s important to give people as much space as possible.
stutters
I’m handicapped!
(I tend to use the middle one)
I’ll go with the furthest one available. Sometimes my weak stomach will kick in and there’s nothing worse than gagging on the fumes of someone else’s ass.
FO SHIZZLE!
extra space, handicap all the way
You left out “Never shit at work”.
I have never and I never plan to. It really creeps me out, sitting on the seat where a shitload of other scumbags have shat… ewwwww.
^I used to be that way too, but for two reasons I have done a complete 180.
- getting paid to poop is satisfying in a couple ways
- I don’t like buying toilet paper
I had the gross-out feeling of sharing toilets too, but a simple double layer of toilet paper on the seat relieves all of those concerns
and I agree, the more space between squatters the better!
Man, people who don’t shit at their jobs or at school are wimps. It’s just going to the bathroom. Everybody takes a nasty shit now or then, don’t be embarrassed!!
I use the handicap stall. Sometimes even if there is no one else in there. It’s very luxurious.
Toilets are cleaner than cell phones.
Chew on that one.
edit- well… of course I am referring to a toilet NOT recently used by BigB. 
^ Can I get a source for that information?
I guarantee you its true. Most toilets are cleaned with disinfectant daily, and most phones are rarely wiped down with any kind of disinfectant.
Tying together with that is the fact that the handle on the door to bathrooms is what really creeps me out. What does it matter what you touch while inside the bathroom if you wash your hands when finished? But, some people take a crap, grab the door handle, and leave the bathroom without washing. EVERYTIME, I grab a bit of toilet paper or paper towel and grab the door handle with that. When I get the door open, I toss that paper into the trash can.
I always feel comfortable with the cleanliness of my hands that way.
jeez, who would’ve known I had so much to say about this…?
^ I always grab a paper towel when I open the door as well.
If it’s a handicap door, I bump into the button with my side, so I don’t have to touch the door handle.
I originally heard it on Bullshit
But here is a link I found:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/story?id=2273311
If I walked in and the first stall was taken I’d skip a stall and take the next… which in this case is the handicapped juan.
Fortunately at my work we have private bathrooms. Stink it up, spray some lysol, good to go.
At my office there are 5 floors. I’ll go down a floor or two just to get my doody time in the hadicapped johh. Great thread!
I poop where/when I have too, who cares which stall, dump it and move on…
^
That’s why you gotta stretch it out so the poop is still sliding into the water as its coming out your butthole.
That’s what I do, anyway.
It coils up like a snake.
It’s glorious.
OMG shut up Neil.
Interesting…
I guess I can sort of believe it.
But I’m just a paranoid person and am always thinking the worst in every situation for some reason. Your phone may be cleaner because it’s warm and it doesn’t get cleaned often, but how do you know that toilet seat at your work is getting cleaned all the time?