THE '03 Tour Rat

Phish Live Shows
#1

OK, I was just thinking about this out of nowhere.

Phish Summer tour 2003.

Specifically, Deer Creek and Star Lake. And also Bonnaroo.

Does anyone remember seeing this guy, possibly around the age of 40 or so, just extremely blitzed no matter what time of day it was?

I first ran into him at Bonnaroo '03, then I saw him at Deer Creek, and finally at Star Lake. This guy gets around I am sure.

Tore up flannel shirt. Patched up jeans. Walking stick about as tell as he is. Going bald, and the rest of his hair looks like h just woke up upside down. Speaks in his own language. Wook language.

When we first saw him at Bonnaroo, I was pretty sure I was just hallucinating. You could smell this guy from 5 camp sites away. It was pretty entertaining to watch him go up to random people and just start a “conversation”.

So some time passes, like a month or so, and I am on my way to Deer Creek. As soon as we get out of the car to start setting up camp, I can hear it plain as day. That damn wook language again. I thought I was having a flashback, but there he is once again. Same clothes, same stick, same… smell. This time however I knew I had to say something, basically because he walked right up to us spitting his game as it were. We gave him a little bit of food, because it was quite obvious he was going to need it if he was trying to make the show.

So he is chatting away to himself for a while, and then in the corner of his eye he must have seen our neighbors throwing a frisbee, or kicking a foot bag, whatever was happening. So he goes on over and tries to join in their circle, and absolutely wipes out in the grass. Now, the best part… He was using his walking stick as a pivot to pick himself up, and he would not accept help from anybody. “Gahhh, giton outtaher, imma mang dammit!”

The rest of the weekend I would just see him stumbling from place to place. We were all having a good laugh, because it was the same group of us who were at Bonnaroo.

SO, as if this all wasn’t enough, we come to Star Lake. My last Phish show. And it wouldn’t be a last Phish show without an appearance from stick-man, tour rat, wook#19, whatever it was we gave him as a nick name.

And this time he was almost coherent! We must have caught him early enough. We were talking for a while, and we brought up Deer Creek a few days earlier, and HE DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER BEING THERE. I know I saw this guy atleast half a dozen times within the three days at DC. I am amazed at what people do to themselves.

So, has anyone else had an experience with this guy? Sorry if my physical description isn’t that good, but if you ever saw this guy, you know exactly who I am talking about.

I wish I had a picture, but my buddy who was the only one with a camera just recently moved to Utah, so I don’t think I’ll be searching his picture box for a while.

#2

Nope, never seen this guy, but the read was well worth it.

#3

oh yeah.

that really fucked up guy with the walking stick that smells bad.

i know EXACTLY who you’re talking about, i see him all the time. ;D

#4

^

I think it was jawbone, and I just offended him.

Sorry jawbizzle!

Yeah, jawbizzle, I said it.

Now seriously though… Someone on here HAS to know who I am talking about!

#5

old guy, smelly, incoherent, torn clothing…

dude, that’s like half the people you see at shows

#6

Thanks for adding to the conversation fluffy… ::slight_smile:

Atleast I know it wasn’t you there.

Like I said before, if you saw this guy, you will know exactly who I am talking about.
If you haven’t seen him, or seen a Phish lot even… Just move on.

#7

Well look what I found at Pholktales. It seems I am not the only one.

http://www.pholktales.com/stories/oddphans/story701.htm
PholkTales: Odd Phans
Phrom the moment we set up our tent we saw him, a cracked-out old man with elbow pads and a walking stick harassing all those around us. We just laughed and made jokes about the “peyote man” as we called him because it looked like he had been trippin on peyote or at least something for days.

All was well for us at Deer Creek when all of a sudden it took a hilarious turn when “peyote man” made a pit stop at our tents. First, he came for me, as I sat defenseless in my chair wrestling with a Sweet Baby Ray’s bottle. As I tried to get the plastic wrap off, I hear a racket coming our way, and as soon as I look up, he’s right in front of my face going off about something in his native jibberish. The only word I could make out was, “guddurbuddertahy Bob Dylan mankenlesheeeee.” I still think about it and I can never come up with a reasonable possibility of what he might have meant.

Next, he went for our food… the poor hot dog never had a chance. You see, we were preparing a breakfast feast at 3:00, so all of our tools were set up as we prepared the grill. “Peyote man” bent down and picked up a raw, still pretty cold hot dog. He spoke some angrier jibberish at us and continued to point and wave the raw hot dog. Then, he did it. He must have worked up quite an appetite being cracked-out, and he bit right into the raw, partially firm hot dog. We would have been more then happy to grill it up for him, but by the time we could offer he was taking the last bite.

I think “thanonanogodopedd,” was peyote jibberish for “thank-you,” but we were far to shocked to say welcome. We stood and watched as he waddled away and intercepted a pass between neighbors who were playing catch with a football. He yelled at them until he finally gave up and threw it over his shoulder as he walked away. I believe next he taunted a dog who was barking at him and that was it.

We saw “peyote man” a few more time before the three-night stand was over, and anyone I’ve ever met who went to Deer Creek '03 has a story to tell. He has many names: Deer Creek Bum, Peyote Man, Cracked-Out Grandpa, Jibberish Man, This Weird Guy; but one thing is for sure, if someone starts out a story with, “…at Deer Creek there was this really old guy wearing elbow pads and walking with a cane…” listen up cause it will definitely not disappoint.

  • Alyssa

and that gave a link to this story:

http://www.pholktales.com/stories/oddphans/story724.htm
PholkTales: Odd Phans
Well I just gotta say that all the stories of “peyote man” are true. The bewildered “seeker” passed thru our campsite for the three consecutive days at Deer Creek '03. However, I have a slight twist in continuation of this oddysey. The “bum” was spotted by myself and my bud Kev in Miami for the New Year’s Run.

Now when I had told Kev about this dude months earlier, Kev was pretty speechless. Needless to say, when i came across this gentleman again in Miami, I was baffled. The man was STILL wearing the knee/elbow pads, same stick with American flag, same fuckin clothes! Absolutely amazing. I had to converse with the “wanderer.”

Kev and I approached the tarnished, metal-colored van the dude posted on. Anyway, we spoke to him and his buddy (who spoke English clearly) and found out they hail from Cleveland. The “dude” asked me for a cigarette, which I honestly could not part with at the moment, and he scolded me severely. Not a happy camper at all, but a pleasant experience to share with the “enigma.”

Well I gotta split but thought I’d just share a story of the “Man’s” travels. Wow, he made it from Indy to Miami… maybe you’ll see him next.

Peace & Good Phishin’ to all.

  • Tomas K.

I completely forgot about the elbowpads, but now I remember. I guess that would have helped the description.

I am not alone in my experiences!

#8

in all seriousness…

on the first night of my first Bonnaroo (2004) it was late, very late in the night. Probably so late that it was actually early in the morning and me and my friend were wearing down on our last Sweet Waters in our camping chairs when some guy walked up to our campsite and asked straight up if he could hang out with us. He was speaking clear English and indeed came off as very wise. He wasn’t that old but he was bald with a mustache and long goatee, wearing only a pair of shorts (i cant remember if he had sandles on or not) and carrying a massive walking stick that was carved to look like a totem pole.
We barely could muster up the energy to say anything to him but he just sat down and started telling us things; stories, scientific facts, what everything on his stick meant and how it related to him and then he dissapeared. We didn’t notice him leaving but all of a sudden he wasn’t there anymore. Almost simultaneously we both looked at each other and said, "Shiiiit man…did you see that guy too?

i forgot what point i was trying to make but maybe it was the guy’s son or something? Or maybe even the guy on a sober day?

#9

I know this guy. I ran in to him on Green Crew.

^The elbow pads sparked a thought and as soon as I read that guy say he had an American Flag on the stick I knew it.

Being part of Green Crew I got to see the true beauty of a Phish lot. And by beauty, I mean crazy, crazy things that I never knew where going on.

We would wait around after the show, get a beer and some grub and slowly make it to the will call window. There all of the crew would meet up and wait for our marching orders on where to begin and how we would attack the lot. This is at that little white house on the side of the road/lot at Deer Creek. All the cops usually hang out there. If you’ve been, you should know what I’m talking about

So we get out gloves and bags and start to the far end of the lot to make our way back toward the dumpsters. This is about the time the line to get out of the lot is long, cars are everywhere, and all the kidz who are still spun out from the show are at their best. Usually they are lost, but most of the time they just have no idea who they are. It’s a fun time to be on the lot actually.
Especially when your part of a little army. We were invincible, even to cops. I got some good stories about taking on the cops.

So as we set off, we start to notice this guy messing with 2 of our girls. Grabbing garbage bags, throwing them and just plain being a jerk. That, and we notice he’s not speaking English. At least not understandable. So we slow down and kinda wait for them. (We are a group of about 30-40 people at any given show. 60 was our most at one) Notice that they are gonna need help, and go back to get him away.

By this time the guy has a bag over his head and he’s trying to rip a hole through it so he could where it as a poncho. Why, I don’t know. It was a beautiful night and was not going to rain.
So we let him have it and start to leave and now he’ starts to follow. Trying to grab more bags. We try to explain what we are doing and that if he wants to help thats cool, but to not keep ripping up all our bags. Now he get mad.

He starts pounding his stick in the ground and not really yelling but, speaking very loud. Now the cops nearby start to take notice. Since we are not part of the venue staff (We work directly with Phish and their crew) we need to find our 2 leaders to talk to the fuzz.
These are the guys who have backstage passes and talk with Amy and the other backstage crew to get the bags and how the venue would like us to help. Sometimes we pick up all trash and other times just bottles. Anyway,…

We get them to talk to the cops and tell them we are cool, but they want to know what is up with the “Stick guy” as they said.
“He’s not with us”
“Oh, so we can talk with him”
“Uh,…sure”

Now we kinda feel bad.
We didn’t want him to get in trouble, just stop ripping up our bags. So the cops ride up and kind surround him and we start off. I kinda take my time, I got to see what happens.
I’m the guy who slows down to look at car crashes.
Morbid, yes, but I’m kinda voyeuristic.

The cops ask him his name and he responds:

“FAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHISSSSHHHHHUUUUUUMMMM”

“Huh?”

FFFFFFFFAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM"

“Excuse me?”

By this time, I’m about to lose it. I was still feeling an afterglow.
You know how you feel after you’ve just come down from some fungi. That weird place where your not really trippin, but your not sober. that’s where I was mentally. That and I was on my second beer. Feeling really good.

I keep watching the cops cause the look on their face was priceless. The guy wasn’t being a jerk, he was really cooperating with them, but neither of them knew how to treat him.

“Well, sir, can you just be careful with that stick. You might hurt someone or yourself. That, and you should start to leave the lot.”

“SSSCHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT. meeef adn tomyn!”

That was it. With that the guy turns around and walks away.
The cops just stood there looking at each other.
Me, I’m looking like I’m watching a parade or something. Most of Green Crew are about 15 yards away by now and I’m by myself.

The cop looks at me and says “What did he just say?”

“I dunno know, I just work here”

Pound my Old Style, throw it in my bag and catch up with my crew.

It was one of the only times I’ve ever seen cops so dumbfounded.
They honestly had no idea what to do with him.
Who did though?
That guy was definitely on his own wavelength.

So, yeah Will, I know who your talking about.

We saw him later that night sleeping on that little path that leads from the parking lot to the on-site campground.
At least he got some rest.

The end

#10

a little off subject, but does anyone remember the black guys name who sold pizza out of a white van. He had an oven and I think he originated the french bread on the lot thing. He always wore a Fuckin’ Go Nuts shirt. I heard he was also a large reason the lady H found Phish lot. Anyone? It’s driving me nuts! Nice enough guy, just really odd.

#11

^ Russo! The scum of all scum. Don’t be fooled by Russo! He’d take poor and destitute tour rats and make them work for him and get them into a worse situation than they were already in! And yes the H had alot to do wit it! At the Gorge in 97 i was walking Shake down and bumped into this kid standing by his setup. The kid says to me “whoa be careful my toe is broken”. I asked him how and he replies " Russo ran over it with his van today" Just as he’s tellin me this Russo pops out and starts yellin at the kid " Quit crying and get to work". Pretty fucked up! Then at Hampton 99 during Jennifer Dances i went out to buy the Pollock and i see Russo INSIDE the show drinking with some other dude. I stopped and said " what are you doin in here"? He sarcasticly replied " i only come for the music" I shook my head and went on my way!

#12

YES!! RUSSO!! Yah, he always had kids running everywhre. And he was always with some trashy rat girlz who would push his shit. Scary fucker, always hiding in his van. HAHAAHAHA, he went into a show, must have taken a wrong turn. LOL!

#13

I remember him getting into a fight with someone trying to sell Pizza bread as well. I mean a real fight, fists and all.

He kept yelling “I sell the pizza on tour!” “Don’t fuck with me!”

Weird. That is crazy that you saw in the show B.
I think he was on Dead tour and came over to Phish after Jerry died.
He always had a strange vibe about him. I knew he had kids working for him, but damn, it sounds like they were indentured servants.

He did make good pizza bread though.

#14

All this reminds me of a guy I see around and talk to a lot. Does anyone know who Critter is? Long ass black with a litttle bit of grey dreads. Usually on Panic tour. Always screaming shit like “FUCK YOU, PAY ME!” He really is a great dude. He’s usually verrrrrrrryy faced everytime I see him. It’s wierd, because I always seem to run into the dude. Even at Bonnaroos. Nice guy, but can act like a dick sometimes, and get’s way too fucked up.

He’s come up to me before and started pushing me and cursing me loudly. When I realized what the fuck was happening, I realized it was Critter and yelled back something like FUCK YOU! and then we gave each other a big hug. But I thought for a second taht I was about to get fucked up by some wook.

Another time, he was fucked up sitting on the concrete yelling jibberish and kicked over the people that he was with’s table with all the food they were selling. Obviously they were very pissed at 'ol Critter and he didn’t even know what the hell they were talking about. It was funny. If you guys ever see the guy, go say hi, he’s great. Some folks really don’t like him though.

Me and a few buds ALMOST let him stay with us at a Cheese show in Knoxville. I’m glad we didn’t. It wasn’t my idea, and I tried to get it across to everybody else that it was a bad idea. They realized it and we left. That was the last time I saw him.

I saw a picture of him on passedoutwookies.com

I about shit myself I was laughing so hard.

#15

ahh yes! Critter!

I met Critter in St. Paul on 10.1.05 at a Widespread show. Unfortunately, Critter didn’t make it into the show. He was very rowdy and wasted before the show. I think he said he’d been drinking all day or something. Anyway, he got into some confrontation with police in the nearly non-existant lot before the show. I think they just wanted to talk to him and he ran away or something. It must have been something more than that, though.

So after the show we donated a few bucks to Critter’s friend to help bail him out of jail.

Yeah, we definitely got a few laughs from Critter’s hijinx that night.

#16

that guy stole my buzz…fucker

#17

I don’t know if this is the same Russo guy because they weren’t selling pizza, but at the first bonnaroo, I saw a black male with an accent, possibly jamaican with a bunch of dreadie chicks making grilled chicken pitas out of a van. Now, the guy was being a dick to this one particular woman who looked like she could kick some ass herself. There were alot of people standing around to get some food, myself included, and I had already been standing there a good 10 minutes watching shit unfold. It’s been 4.5 years since then, so I can’t for the life of me remember all the comments that passed back and forth, but at some point he said something to her and next thing I know, this middle aged jamaican dude and this chick are fighting, and I mean physically…apparently her being a chick didn’t mean shit to him. It was crazy. After knocking a bunch of shit over, they finally got pulled apart and he tells her to get the fuck out and she leaves with some chick yelling back at him all kinds of shit that again, I can’t remember. I was shocked at what I had just seen, but they cleaned everything up and started cooking again, I got my food and walked away shaking my head at what I’d just seen.

#18

that was him lady, gotta be, i remember him selling other shit besides pizza and the accent and fighting seem right up his alley. he is senior douchebag

#19

This guy sounds like a senior douchebag/pump. I hope I never run into the dude. Fuck sketchy folks! ERRRR! It irks me, it really does.

On a lighter note…

FUCK YOU, PAY ME!!