The Open Letter Thread

Non-Phish General
#1

(All posts in this thread have to be written in the form of a letter, even if it’s to another poster.)

Dear SciFi Channel,

These old episodes of Friday The 13th are hilarious! Every guy has a mustache, every girl has high hair. And the special effects are soooo lame; they are only outdone by the dialogue. This is classic early nineties Fox, if I had a box of Quisp it would be a total time warp.

Thanx for the slice of funky stinky cheese from way back when, it tastes so good it hurts.

Cheers,
Space

#2

To Stubhub and all scalpers,

FUCK OFF!

Sincerely,

Me

#3

Dear Neil,

Last night was one that I’ll remember forever. All your radiant grace will live on in my heart and I will never forget your gentle caress.

Yours Truly,

Hank

#4

Dear homemade hash I made for breakfast,

Stop repeating on me. You tasted good hours ago, but no more. Get out of my belly!

Sincerely,
Space

#5

Dear Brady,

Towel.

Sincerely,
Neil

#6

Dear Abbey,

Why does it smell so bad when I shit?

Thanks much,
Ryan

#7

Dear Ryan,

You might want to drink less of the dark beers and try a Vodka 7up tonight.

Let me know how this works for you.

Respectfully,
Abbey

#8

Dear Pa,

you guys are the best. i’m glad there’s so many different personalities here each adding their own particular ingredient to the soup. it tastes like burning, and keeps things interesting. yesterday my computer was acting up and i couldn’t get on here for a couple hours and i think i almost got upset. you, Pa, are an addiction. thanks for everything.

sincerely,

cJ.

#9

OOps…

Dear CharileJack,

^Awwwww…

Love,
the 'Pa

#10

Dear deer,

No thanks.

Sincerely,
Sin searly

#11

dear redskins,

thank you for beating both the cowboys and the eagles in back to back weeks.
that was swell. makes me really happy

yours truly,
Killer Rob

#12

Dear Comcast,

Thank you for having such awesome old, fun movies On Demand, for free, when I can’t sleep at night. Movies like Angels in the Outfield, Fled, Mississippi Burning, House of 1000 Corpses, Devil’s Rejects, Big Trouble in Little China, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, and many other old classics.

Sincerely,

Very Pleased Customer #777129347

#13

Dear Phish:

Someone here on the Oh Kee Pa cited Divided Sky 8-14-93 as THE song that broke them into Phish fandom, and having been inspired to go and listen to it, I went and listened to it. And well, I’m writing today to thank you for doing what you did at the end there, during those last couple minutes of Divided Sky that night. Thanks for doing all that crazy shit.

Beyond Regards,
HosemasterFlex

#14

Dear G.,

Meow, bitch. I’m gonna steal your breath tonight…but first I’m gonna eat all your veggies.

Sincerely,
Black Kitten In Your Garden

#15

Dear Me,

stop tripping, find that other eighth you lost…

love,

me

#16

Dear Toilet,

Thanks for always listening to me and taking all the crap I give you. You’re a very big part of our family and you do not get enough respect! I am always pissing on you and flushing your memories down the drain.

I owe a lot to you, no one else seems to understand all the shit I go through.

I am SO glad you continue to open up and accept whatever I try to flush away…

Respectfully,

Phishinsky

#17

Dear Phishinsky,

No prob, d00d.

After all, one man’s trash…

Flushingly,
Your Toilet

#18

Dear Phishinsky,
Nice to see you around the OKP again! Your camp still has the best bloody marys!

Sincerely,
Funky B.

#19

My dearest Funky B,

They are not the same without the person who helped make them. I will always remember the 2-3 camp help we had in accomplishing that grand event. I think the glasses were filled and the energy was high at that point! We will have to see if the stars align right this summer to partake in the morning tradition again!

Thanks for the welcome back, it feels good to wonder back up in here… Some good peeps on these here boards! Hope all is well for you on the east side!!!

I miss reading you blogs about your trips…

Respectfully,
Phishinsky

#20

Dear Universe,

The Phish Lottery felt more like Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery.
You owe me, big-big.

Say Thank-ee Sai,
Space