I had an alright day today until I got off of work…
my father-in-law has been diagnosed with severe cancer in his liver, kidney (he only has one) and his lung. My husband is beside himself and is now glued to the computer reading every doomsday prediction he can about the mortality rate of cancer patients he can find to feed his downward spiral of depression which I’m now trying my best to pull him out of…to no avail.
and…
I lost my job.
I had been working on my school work at work in my down time and my boss said that he needed someone more “focused on the tasks at hand” than I have been… and apparently he was expecting a call from a woman from the bank that funds the company the other day ( a call I never recieved) and said that she told him that she left a message with the receptionist (me)… which he apparetely never got. Probably b/c I was away from my desk at the time, and any number of people could have taken the call and not jotted down that one particularly important message… but since I’m supposed to be in a million places at once accordign to him, he called me “unreliable” and told me it “wasn’t working out.”
whatever happened to encouraging people to better themselves or giving someone the benefit of the doubt?
Jesus…tomorrow has got to be better…
I’m going to go drink copious amounts of a $75 dollar bottle of wine that was given to me for my birthday and send out my lengthy resume…
holy shit, alison. That’s rough. But when we fall we fall hard i guess and what makes us who we are is how we cope with it. It always seems to happen shortly after everything’s going awesome. That’s why i get so nervous in really good situations sometimes because i know at any minute that it could all come crashing down, which somehow makes it even more enjoyable because i know its happening. And that even makes it more enjoyable when i’ve hit rock bottom because i know that i fell there from somewhere great and i get to climb back up again, learning over and over that the journey is usually far more rewarding than the result. Therefore, changes move the universe and now i’m rambling. Sorry…i was trying to sympathize but i may have made an ass of myself. And I know how it is when somebody important to me and somebody close is diagnosed with a terminal illness and i know how shattered people get over it and i never know what to tell anybody, including myself. I just felt like i needed to say something. So get your mind off wintertime and roll with the tides.
Not to brush off the loss of your job as something inconsequential, but you’ll find another “job”. You weren’t really there very long, and if the boss has it out for you, it’s actually better that you go. Can you get unemployement in the meantime? If so, this could be good if you can afford it, because your husband sounds like he’s going to need your help.
The sadness and depression is understandable, but he’s got an opportunity here to help and connect with his father and make his transition easier. Part of his father’s worst fears is more about leaving his loved ones without the support he believes he provides them.
To some degree, he probably still believes that his children are still just children and at any moment will need him for something. Your husband’s job is to be the man that his father needs to believe he is. He needs to be strong, he needs to be honest, he needs to be loving, he needs to be responsible. He needs to convince his father that he will take care of his family which will allow him to have more acceptance of the inevitable.
Most of all, you have to tell him that his sadness is based in the love he has for his dad, and that switching that focus from the sadness when it arises to the love, is the only way to get through this.
Good luck, momma. Remember that tough times make us stronger, although anyone who looks forward to tough times for that reason has to be off their rocker. But the point is, there are positive results possible even during the most tragic of circumstances. A balanced person will understand this and make the lemonade and pass it around.
thanks for all the good vibes y’all… we really need those right now.
It’s so funny you say that about Brian’s Dad fone - about him needing Brian to be strong since he’s probably feeling a lot of trepidation about leaving his son unprepared. Just two days ago I made the comment to Brian about him needing to " absorb all he could" from sonny (his dad) b/c he wouldn’t be around forever. Now this… how ironic.
Brian literally can’t do anything without his dad. He doesn’t even know how to unstop a drain or change an air filter. It’s been a running joke within the family now for a long time, but now it’s not so funny. I got home last night and Brian was bawling on the porch. I pulled up a chair and held his hand and told him it was gonna be alright and he just kept saying " What am I gonna do without my dad/ i don’ tknow how to do anythign without him…"
I’m trying to maintain my little miss sunshine act over here for everyone, including Aidan, but I’m stressed out to tell you the truth. there are so many things going on in my mind right now between my job, brian’s dad and other things… ugh…I have to get out of the house. I think I’ll take Aidan to go see Spiderman 3
i don’t know if you all know but i certainly do, that every May, Ft. Lauderdale hosts the largest Air show in the country along the famed Ft. Lauderdale Beach strip. There’s also a Sea show that happens in the morning before the planes start flying for the folks that show up super early. There’s usually about 1 million or so people along the beach, not exaggeratting. A main part of the strip is shut down from traffic and the parts that aren’t are too crowded to drive down anyway. The whole surrounding 2 mile radius from Sunrise Blvd & A1A smells like sunscreen and sweat and concessions and to add to all that, McDonalds is the main sponser now so the past couple years there’s been portable McDonalds set up so now it smells like sunscreen, sweat, spilled beer and McDonalds. Gross.
But i didn’t go to that part of the beach. This year we sacrificed being right at the center of the show for a normal crowded day at the beach with crazy planes flying by and doing tricks about a mile or so down the shore. We could still see all the planes close up since they fly up and down a large portion of the coast line and from where we were we could even see the tricks from a different angle. AND, there was enough room on the beach to set up some chairs and a cooler and wade in the water while the planes flew over head drinking Sierra Nevada Summerfest brews.
I had it in 7th grade, and it was great. I didn’t have to go to school for like two weeks and I felt fine. All I did was cough a bit, but it’s not like I was fever sick. So it was like I was on vacation. It kicked masive amounts of ass.
I am white trash drunk because I’m trying to buy as little booze as possible. Instead I’m drinking what my parents have. So that means, right now, mixing cheap Canadian whisky with Busch Light. It’s disgusting.
^ Not actually pouring them in one glass I hope. I made a drink that was just Vodka poured into Non-Alcoholic beer, and we played regular drinking games with that. Ask me if I puked my guts out after 2 of these.
^^Congrats, kiddo! I said I was done with school forever too after I got my bachelor’s. 3 years later, I’m back in working on something completely different. Of course, I probably coulda done something else without school, but I just refuse to work a job where I have to get dressed up and wear high-heels and make-up everyday of my life. I’d rather lose a finger or an ear. So do we have a job yet? That’s always the fun part
^It’s funny how perspective changes over the years. I once felt like this also, but now it’s all changed. Once I retire, and don’t actually have to work, I plan on taking some courses at the local schools, just for the hell of it, and to keep my mind stimulated. Maybe some lit and writing courses, a film course, maybe philosophy, ancient history, or even web development. Have so many questions still lingering.
