why?

Non-Phish General
#1

my house and car smell like a skunk blew up in it. here’s a fun fact. did you know:

that skunk spray is an irritant for both pets and their faithful owners? you see, when it makes direct contact with the skin and eyes, these things burn, itch and swell shut! so, as i was trying to tend to my cat max’s swollen, snotty, foamy face last night after his encounter with the furry woodland friend, i, in turn, got that shit all over my own hands and face! not to mention the 148 lacerations from his razor talons as i was trying to help him. yay! first came the sensation of fire in my throat and nose. then the coughing. then the sneezing. then the eyes began watering profusely, burning and swelling closed, along with my sinuses. so, as max was bolting all over the house howling and hissing and sneezing and getting cat-snot everywhere, i was running into walls, hacking, coughing, spitting and gasping for sweet life trying to make a blind, mad dash to the bathroom to wash out my infected face and quell some of the bleeding from my hands, forarms and neck. cold water helps a lot, in case you ever need to know.

the good news: we were both much better by morning, though still extrememly stinky. i was desperately hoping not to have to take a tomato-juice bath so i went online to search for skunk-smell remover. turns out they make such things, thank god. i went to PetsMart and was immediately placed under a hot, white spotlight of shameful embarassment. i guess i must’ve gotten somewhat used to the smell and not thought i absolutely reeked of skunk-ass, but i was wrong. in fact i did indeed absolutely reek of skunk-ass. it was fun looking for the smell remover as people covered thier faces with their hands and laughed, laughed, laughed. fun, fun indeed. as i was in line, a woman strolled up behind me with her shopping cart full of stuff. i heard her say “oh jesus” before she backed away and pretended she forgot something.

well, i got home and immediately applied the miracle skunk solution to my body. by the white doves of bethleham, it works! though i now smell like rubbing alcohol, but who’s complaining? i have to clean max still, but i think i’m first going to buy some of those falcon gloves you see magicians and warriors use from time to time. i simply don’t have that much blood left in my body to lose right now. do you know where i can get a pair of those? old navy maybe? target?

so. both my night and my morning have been fantastic, thanks for asking. how are you doing? >:(

#2

Dude, where’s your nose?

but for serious, I’m moving dow the street from you in about three weeks. Where in RO are you at?

#3

oh yeah? that’s cool. 13 & crooks.

#4

I’ll be south of you, actually in Ferndale. Just west of Woodward and just south of 9.

#5

Well, I’m glad that you got the smell under control. (Imagining you in PetsMart reeking of skunk is quite funny.) I’ve never heard of a cat getting sprayed by a skunk before. (Your tale of “razor talons” is also entertaining.) I hope the weekend is fun and problem free for you. No more skunk encounters.

So do you let your cat outside, and he just happened to run into a skunk? Bummer.

#6

Wow, that hacking, sinus, etc sensation sounds similar to tear gas. I was tear gassed during the riot at Michigan State in 1999 after we lost to Duke in the Final Four…the sensation was quite similar to your…constant burning, eyes watering, and major snotage everywhere. I do remember being pleased in how I had a stuff nose prior to that event and was pleased to see that my sinuses were completely cleared afterward. What a country!

#7

i’m doing fine.

#8

no, i’m sure he hunted it. he’s a badass. well, he was. til that skunk showed him what’s up.

#9

my boss’s dog got sprayed by a skunk a few days ago, he says his house still stinks

that must suck, im kind of fond of the skunk smell, reminds me of another type of skunk

whenever i am driving and smell the skunk, im taken back to the first time i enjoyed the skunk, good times indeed

#10

driving home while “skunked” up one night i hit a skunk w/ my front left tire, the wretched stench lasted for about a week, even after the car washes. i feel for ya bro

#11

Just put the whole car in the tub with some tomato juice.

That’ll cure it.

Or hydrogen peroxide.

#12

well when i hit it i almost lost control of my car and careened into a pond.

a filthy pond nonetheless

#13

a tablespoon of dawn dish soap

a tablespoon of baking soda

and a big bottle of hydrogen peroxide

wash pet once, rince, twice, and a third time if needed.

works WAY better than tomato juice.

#14

i’m telling you: miracle skunk solution from petsmart works like a champ. only have to use it once and no more skunk smell. though i pretty much have to let my house and car air out as long as that takes. hopefully no more than a few days or so.

#15

Vodka.

#16

mecurichrome.