Won't You Step Into the Freezer?

Non-Phish General
#1

With Uncle Ebeneezer.

This morning I was introduced to the freezer section of the Cuyahoga County Morgue.

I’m not stranger to the morgue, but most definitely was a stranger to the freezer section.

Had to go through two sets of steel garage doors, and then into the deep freeze.

And when that door opened, I wanted to yell EBENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZER!!! The stench was atrocious. Almost as bad as a weekend with Thom in Kansas. It woke me up better than five cups of coffee.

But for some reason, all I could think about was Tweezer. Not a specific version… I was waiting for one of the tags to say Ebeneezer.

So… that was my morning. How was yours?

#2

What were you there for?

Stealing a hand and a heart?

#3

Along with the rest of the body.

#4

And I wasn’t stealing.

#5

brah…that was helen that stunk in kansas.

all i smelled like was weed.

#6

wtf are you hanging out in a morgue freezer for???

keeps dead bodies away from will

#7

he like…owns a funeral home and junk.

hes the sole owner.

get with it, sloth.

cirrusly.

#8

HES THE SOLE OWNER!!!

THATS A KILLERRRR

ITS A MORGUE… GET IT???

SOLE??? SOUL???

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#9

Please her with a tweezer?

Can you please the dead?

#10

Wow, I would have never thought that it would smell. I would have thought the frozen bodies wouldn’t smell that bad.

My whole life has been a lie.

#11

Decomp is a bitch.

#12

now why are the people in the deep freezer, do they not have families or something? or does every dead body go into the deep freezer? b/c i’d rather not be in a deep freezer when i kick it, not so sure i want to be burried too, i kind of like the whole ahes to ashes, dust to dust idea a bit more than decomposing with the worms and the potential to sink into the ground and not soar into the skies, so i’ll prob be creamated and i’d like to be spilled from a mountain top or something into the wind, ya know?

i don’t want to be some body in will’s freezer where he goes, damn you stink you dead body, you flat out smell bad

#13

The deep freeze is for bodies that may have been sitting in their house a few days, in the Summer heat, without anyone noticing.

Disease is a nasty thing.

#14

thanks for the info, that must be even more bad to go get a dead body out of a house that has been like 110 for 5 days, ehhh, i worked at a retirement home and some of those people places smelled like living death, it was soo soo gross

#15

Did somebody mention souls?

muah

#16

was anyone cryogenically frozen, like was Walt Disney in there?

#17

I heard Ted Williams’ head was there.

#18

Walt was always getting in the way. Had to keep pushing him in the corner.

#19

Will,
You own the morgue?

Or just work there? Or a family thing?

Thats intense…

#20

I don’t have anything to do with the morgue… except I have to go there occasionally.