good lord, what a load of shit.
ok everyone here we go, we’re gonna have a real “Town Hall” meeting about all this with “real” American people and get all the tough issues out front in the open.
Ok, so here’s how we’re gonna do it:
-We’re gonna have our two candidates (yes, only two because everybody in America is either on one side or the other). One of them is going to be standing there with a red tie on and the other is gonna be standing there with a blue tie on.
-We’re gonna have a small, intimate crowd of carefully chosen “citizens” and we’re going to sit them down in an order that makes them appear diverse; having a young black guy sitting next to a middle aged white war veteran next to an environmentalist lesbian, etc…
-All these “citizens” are going to get up and ask these tough “questions” that they totally made up all by themselves on the spot so that the candidates have no idea what hit them. (All the while, the actual “Free Speech Zone” will be located in a fenced off designated area no closer than 1.5 miles from the venue for anybody with a real question who wants to continue to be ignored)
-The candidates are then going to answer the questions at great length as if they totally didn’t have prepared statements for each question that totally weren’t shown to them and their advisers ahead of time and Tom Brokaw is gonna tell them to calm down as if they’re “really flying off the handle” and they’re all going to act like this is a serious on the spot debate between two intelligent men (and whenever it actually starts to turn into a real debate between two intelligent men, Tom Brokaw will inform them that they are out of time and must move on to the next “totally spontaneous question”
-American society will continue to be the laughing stock of the rest of the world
Hooray for our side
Please tune in tomorrow night to COMEDY Central for a glance at intellectual discussion.